finding the yellow umbrella

Sometimes, I get emotional, without understanding the reason or the cause of it. And sometimes, it feels "painful", for lack of word, just knowing that one of your favorite TV series will end. I know, it's silly. But I guess my lack of attachment (rather, expression) to other people is, ironically, my excessive attachment to inanimate things, like a TV show.

I am one who really abhor spoilers. I don't even want to know how people assess the latest films, even without mentioning details. A simple, "maganda yung movie", irritates me. I want to watch every film, every show, without any expectation.

And now, I learned, through the Internet, that the next season of How I Met Your Mother (a descendant of the great Friends), will be its ninth and final season. Since 2005, the series has been showing and giving me laughs. It's almost a decade of story-telling and finding the one true love. Heck, Barney's ridiculous stories, and codes, even how to buy gold bars, and ultimately, get into a girl's pants, are never tiring. Even Robin's love life. Even Lily and Marshall's unique, made-in-heaven, relationship.

I still remember still watching everyday, even on finals week, just to catch up. I can't get enough of it. And now, it's about to end.

I still remember times when I muse about how much I love Ted Mosby, or rather, how much I want to be with someone like him. That hopeless romantic, intelligent, Star Wars geek guy, with attractive puppy eyes. I hope I get to be the girl with the yellow umbrella. He should be the ideal man. (Although I am also overly attracted to that selfish, rugged, love-stricken Damon Salvatorre, who happens to be very handsome, and very romantic in a peculiar kind of way.)

I am gonna miss How I Met when it's gone. I miss it now.



(Sadly, Dexter will also be on its last season.)

Guitar mom

Like all mother-daughter relationships, we have our shares of misunderstandings and fights, from light to serious ones. Neither one backs down. I guess I got that stubbornness from you (or for having the same zodiac). It is a welcome change that, today, we have tamed down... And now, there are more understanding, giving, and laughing... And eating out!

Mommy, we have been through tough times. And there are times when you have shown your moment of weakness, but in my heart, I know that it would be just temporary. Because you are strong. And stubborn. And I got those from you.

By the way, I am so proud that you can play the guitar, and that I can't. It's your thing, and I love it!

(But can you teach me some time? I'll get an appliance lift, and move over my piano. I never loved it anyway. Guitar is cooler!)

mirroring

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living.

- Excerpt from The Count of Monte of Cristo

And indeed, comparison is a huge word. People compare on every thing.  Is my dress fancier than yours?  Does my la flor dominicana taste finer than that of the new guy in Americana? Or have I been left behind or have moved forward? Nothing wrong with comparing, only if it will not drive you despair. The better question is, what will I do with what I have?

shipwreck

“Well, my dear father, in the shipwreck of life—for life is an eternal shipwreck of our hopes—I cast into the sea my useless encumbrance, that is all, and I remain with my own will, disposed to live perfectly alone, and consequently perfectly free.”

Excerpt from Alexandre Dumas Père. “The Count of Monte Cristo.”

missing blogging II

(a guest post from eks)

Just like Mordsith, I miss blogging about things that are really close to my heart. I stopped writing posts lately because of sudden increase in workload (not complaining! hehehe). There was a time when writing posts are as easy as checking and sending e-mails to friends and colleagues. That was the time when I just needed to hold my phone, type my post in an e-mail platform, and send the article to my blog.

Lately, however, I only write blogs when I need to, not want to (that's why you sometimes see me writing about Whitecraft wicker patio furniture from homeandpatiodecorcenter.com or about other things you really have no idea about). Well, that's life. Hopefully I'd be able to write better article soon!

missing blogging I

It's been quite some time since I last wrote a movie review. Or at least a movie experience. Due to a busy schedule and "kumikitang kabuhayan needs", I tend to write posts on how to speed up XP PCs, how to find the perfect vitamins, and so many other good topics. I would still be busy these coming days (bar review) but I will try to write articles really close to my heart – movies, books, my cousins and pamangkins, and hopefully, a vacation. 

I watched Iron Man a few days ago, maybe I'll write about it soon. Or maybe about a long-overdue vacation or out-of-town trip. Let's see soon.

re-examining life… not.

Mordsith had this post a while back where she discussed what she usually writes about. Truth is, she can write about anything at all when she wants to and when needed – from post about trade printing (akalain mo?) to what is life. I admire how she writes, among other things.  Anyway, below is the post I was talking about:

When I first started blogging, I thought a lot about what to post before I post it. It also entailed a lot of rereading, revisions, and consultations. My first posts were about my favorite book and unforgettable movies. I wrote about pseudo-philosophical thoughts and nationalistic tendencies. Then there came a time when I wrote just about anything, things that, looking back, even I won't be interested in reading. Heck, I even wrote about bead storage, Johari window, and lucky numbers.

Nevertheless, I realized it has been more than 3 years since I started blogging. I've started as eager, then I became lazy, lonely, happy, personal, and distant. I've been so many things in this blog. One thing's for sure, though: all of them are me.

My favorite topic is my thoughts on things. It's probably because there are not that many (exciting) things happening in my life, except for law school and our family's fight against my mom's cancer. Well, I thought of sharing about my love life, especially that period when I was so heart broken after a breakup (which I successfully kept from friends and family for a year or 2! top that!) and not talking to people about it. But I did not do it. Apparently, even online, I don't wanna talk about it. haha. And of course, through the depressing months when we first learned of mom's cancer, well, it was only here that I pour my emotions. And I didn't even tell mom, up to now, how sad I was then.

But mostly, I can talk about life. I like talking about it—analyzing, reanalyzing, and sometimes, even concluding. It's such a complicated thing: infinite angles and various dimensions. It's evolving, or probably just reflecting my own state of mind, just as this blog probably is doing.

And the good thing about life is, I can never really fully understand it. =)

–  what am i talking about? by Mordsith

A guest post.

Eks

preparing for a (not my) wedding

I recently attended a friend's wedding and it was just as great as the other weddings of my other friends. Getting a gift for the bride is easy because she's a friend of mine since childhood, but for the groom? It's a bit challenging. It's not as if you just needed to pick one from so many mens platinum wedding bands in store display. Anyway, I just remembered a post I made a couple of years back. This is a post I made for my cousin's wedding. :-)

I grew up considering my 2 cousins as my brothers. One was already married (keng's father), and the other is about to get married this coming January. Of course, I feel happy for them. But I feel a little more sad this time, knowing that I am the only one left unmarried. At the same time, I feel more excited for the coming wedding. I was still in college when kuyang got married, so my inputs then weren't asked. haha. But now, having attended so many weddings already, I think I had shared with the future couple substantial inputs. hehe.

I am amazed how creative people can be. Several years ago, almost all wedding I attended were traditional, from the dresses, to the venues, to the programs, to the souvenirs. Now, this recent wedding I attended at Tagaytay was so beautiful and so "artistic" that I want my cousins' wedding to be just as enjoyable. And I've emphasized to my cousin over and over that he can cut down on the expenses of other stuff, but not with the photographer and the videographer! Memories are priceless, especially if captured brilliantly.

I told my would-be sister-in-law that the bridesmaids should have simple, almost uniform hairdo, so she could outshine them all. And I've told my cousin to consult me first before choosing whatever songs that would be played in the presentations or in the church. I don't trust his taste in music hehe (and i volunteered to sing!). And I've edited their invitations several times. I wish I could have been more hands-on than just merely suggesting, but I'm sure they understand. Please feel free to suggest anything that would make their wedding unique. =)

And of course, I am preparing myself for the wedding. I am cutting my 1 1/2 cup of rice during dinner to 1 cup. =)

a knock on your door

A post from my now-inactive i.ph blog:

Sometimes, things just happen. Or maybe things are bound to happen. I guess the most pleasant experience of all is when something good happens, when that thing never even crossed your mind. A pleasant surprise, is that what they call it? But what do you do with it? What happens next will determine if serendipity does exist.

Sometimes you are just talking to someone, then you just realize, after all these years, that you are in love. Magic. Then again, sometimes you've been with a person for years already, happy and all, then when you wake up, you've already lost your feelings in your sleep. Tragic. At least you had been happy.

A man is sitting in his porch, watching the seabirds, and finally realizing he has wasted his entire life. I guess he should have listened to what the universe has been telling him: carpe diem.

And indeed, we should stop hiding from our turnout blankets or anything that we use to cover ourselves. There's only one thing to do: carpe diem!

reposting Gandhi's wisdom

I had learnt the true practice of law. I had learnt to find out the better side of human nature and to enter men's hearts. I realized that the true function of a lawyer was to unite parties riven asunder. The lesson was so indelibly burnt into me that a large part of my time during the twenty years of my practice as a lawyer was occupied in bringing about private compromises of hundreds of cases. I lost nothing thereby — not even money, certainly not my soul.

 – Mahatma Gandhi, lawyer, peacemaker

indeed, if people only aim for peace compromise for all their conflicts instead of storming courts with complete with lowa renegade outfit, maybe the world would be a much better place. 

re-posting: a fine man

i wrote a post a while ago about my cousin Eduard... how he made me so proud of him, how happy i am for him, and many other things. i'm re-posting it here because he just graduated from grade school, and this time, as the valedictorian. i am so proud of you, Eduard!

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Time and again, Eduard makes me proud. Although he's my cousin by blood, our relationship is more like parental probably because of the age difference. I've already recounted stories of how I am so proud of how he's grown up to be so selfless and how happy I am that right now, he's been very active in the church, serving for masses several times a week (much frequent than the times I go to mass in a month!). How reverend he has become. I can play in a vlc media player all the things that make me proud of him, and much of these things are more than just academic.

But it's more than just a bonus that he's a bright kid, too! Two days ago, I went up with him on the stage and received his medal for being second honor! [EDIT: imagine how proud i am that this time, i went up with him on the stage to get the medal for being a valedictorian] I will never be tired of saying this, I am so proud of you, Eduard. How lucky we are that we have in our family a fine young man.

---

he's seriously considering the possibility of pursuing a religious vocation, so, i guess searching for wedding rings for men as a gift for him in the future is a remote possibility. :-)

a certain kind of gift

Those born to wealth, and who have the means of gratifying every wish know not what is the real happiness of life, just as those who have been tossed on the stormy waters of the ocean on a few frail planks can alone realize the blessings of fair weather.

-The Count of Monte Cristo

touchdown

It has been four long years.

Every day starts very early and ends very late. Very long, indeed. And yet, I never really noticed the time that has passed. And in a few days, I will be at the end of another chapter. It will be my graduation day.

Before I started law school, I was clueless how difficult law school could be. Coming from UP, where most students are lax (with a certain degree of superiority complex) and the system is forgiving, it was a bit of a shock that Beda law school is altogether different. Yes, it requires intelligence. But more than that, it requires hard work -- a lot of it. And of course, prayers.

I was taught the real fear of failing. I dread looking at the grades of a subject or two every semester. In fact, I never looked at the grades myself. Contrary to what others might think, those who do not understand, my fears were never unfounded. I just don't want to extend law school years, as I am already at the bottom level of my poverty. Plus, law school had already been long overdue.

As some are aware, I am a working student. And my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer during the end of my first year of law. Talk about timing. I was already replete of savings because of my tuition and xerox-copied books. Several times, I thought of dropping out. Chemotherapies are not cheap. And the daily medicines, well, they are more than what a family's daily meals are worth. That, and my father is a kidney transplantee, and medicines are also essential for daily living. I was already on the verge of quitting. But I never did. Thanks to the few people who readily helped me. Helped me without expecting anything.

This may sound a valedictory speech, but with merely graduating, I feel like more than a valedictorian. And I owe this to my angels. Thank you Grace, Anna Grace, Timi, Pedro, and Paul for all the prayers. Every exams you pray for me harder. Pedro and Paul, thank you also to your family for all the moral support. I love them like my own. Thank you, Joel and Tita Lucy for sending me money to help with my mom's treatment, even without me asking. Thank you, Tita Menchu and Tita Sheila for attending to my mom during her weakest moments. Dad and I could not have done it alone. Thank you Pedro for your all your help before and during my first years of law school. You encouraged me to start again. Thank you Mommy and Daddy for taking care of me. I am such a baby. I love you. Thank you Mama for your regular help with mom's medicines. Thank you Lola for constantly helping me with my tuition and for loving my mom dearly. I will be forever grateful, and law school would be an utter impossibility without you. And thank you, Paul, you are my law school's angel. You have helped me  in every way you can. In every aspect there is. In every angle there could be. You are (since you fancy cliches) the wind beneath my wings. You are such an angel, thank you.

It has been four tough years, and yet here I am now. I guess nothing is really impossible when you believe. And when you strive hard. I guess in the end, it is inevitable that you will reach the moment of touchdown. All it takes is ora et labora (prayer and hard work). And people you could depend on.

second-rate trying hard copycat

have you heard the new dance craze called harlem shake? (for some reason, without any meaning attached, i think harlem shake and apogee jam mean the same thing. hehehe.) anyway, the harlem shake became an overnight heat in youtube and is quite a meme in the cyberspace lately. i like it as well. but i hink it can never replicate the effect of gangnam style. psy's gangnam style is sooo popular that i think it can emd world poverty. seriously.

which brings me to thinking... wishing... i wish i can start something that can rival their popularity. hehehe.

(lack of sleep can make you write something very significant like this one. my apologies, mordsith.)

clutter

Mordsith is in blog hiatus once again -- it's that time of the year when she spends sleepless nights with her books and other readings. Yup, yup, it's finals week again. So, you're stuck with me for now.

I was thinking of writing about my thoughts on certain issues but my thoughts are so cluttered that I reLly don't know where to start. or where to focus. There's that problem down south (Sabbah concern), the coming elections, the mobile wars among company giants like Apple, Samsung, and other players, and so many more issues.

I really find it hard to write for someone because I don't want to taint that someone's reputation with my inability to write well. But I have to keep the show running, right? If I have to look for trumpets for sale to at least keep this blog alive while Mordsith is out, I will. See you on my next post!

-X

reposting "the plan"

i still remember this post from another blog of mine. now that my last year as a law student is very near, i am trying to assess if i am in the right track -- well, i think i am.

re-posting this post from my i.ph blog a fea years ago...

I've had the most interesting assignment in law school. It wasn't really much an assignment, but something to think about. The class is called Legal Counseling.

The professor said that most students, when asked what they wanted, they said they want to be a lawyer. But what kind of lawyer? What field? That's too general a term. When he graduated from law school and passed the bar, he was"at a loss". He practically took the first offer that he got. He started working on receivership, reviving "dead" company. It was a job that would have him fire employees. Then, he transferred to a firm and was assigned to intellectual property. But in a big corporate firm, when you're just starting, you're practically "making coffee" for the seniors. Eventually, he floated to family law. And he fell in love with it. He said he likes drama, that's why he's enjoying family law. Kiddingly he said, I love "breaking family". His point? It took him several years before he knew what he really wanted. It isn't as easy as flipping a military challenge coin. (He also warned us, don't expect a good salary when you graduate, but it will come.) So he asked us to make a 5-, 10-, 15-, and 20-year plan and reflect on where we're supposed to go.

He shared what other students had said, with matching humorous remarks. He said if you want to earn big money, go to corporate law. Not much need for litigation. Lawyers in big corporate firms occupy themselves making "motion to dismiss". If you want an altruistic feeling, go to PAO. If you want action, then go to litigation.

He also shared what one of her classmates wanted, and she got it. She just wanted to be a trophy wife. =) She thought that if she's a lawyer, people won't look down on her, even if she's just a trophy wife. After years of laborious law school, she's now living a comfortable, relaxed, high-society life. Sounds like she got herself a good plan. =)

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we have gone through so much "cleansing" and "filtering" through the years. pick any kind of sieves at affordablesieves.com and somehow i think we can easily pass though the holes.

blind curve

i wrote the following list a couple of years back. and looking at it, i realized that the some predicaments don't really disappear that easily

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I’ve been thinking of so many things this first week of classes. Perhaps this is the blind curve before the turning point.

• I should resign this week (or early next week).
• Should I say good bye to people in the office? My initial-but-being-swayed plan is to just disappear.
• Which is more stressful? Always looking for work or always looking for time?
• I want to live by the lake, like those photos in kayni’s blog. I wonder if there are affordable lakefront communities in Luzon.
• When will that darn condo unit reopen?
• I miss my school buddies who transferred.
• I hope to survive this semester (especially taxation and civil procedure) and not be the weakest link in the class.
• Two out of three professors who almost caused me a heart attack are my professors again. Funny.
• And why the hell do I always get called, unprepared, on the first day of class?

---

if only life is as simple as deciding whether to buy Kramer Guitars at music123 or not... :-)

hands to heaven

All the pious ideas that had been so long forgotten, returned; he recollected the prayers his mother had taught him, and discovered a new meaning in every word; for in prosperity prayers seem but a mere medley of words, until misfortune comes and the unhappy sufferer first understands the meaning of the sublime language in which he invokes the pity of heaven! He prayed, and prayed aloud, no longer terrified at the sound of his own voice, for he fell into a sort of ecstasy. He laid every action of his life before the Almighty, proposed tasks to accomplish, and at the end of every prayer introduced the entreaty oftener addressed to man than to God: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us."

-excerpt from The Count of Monte Cristo

looking forward to summer

In relation to an earlier post, below is a list of things I wanted to accomplish come vacation time. (Am I really that excited?) I posted this in another blog as well -- and I thought posting it here would give a different result than last year. Hehehe.

• play tennis regularly
• meet up with my friends
• watch all the movies I missed
• attend parties
• read my friends’ blogs
• read Gaiman’s books
• finish reading all the eBooks I downloaded (starting with Count of Monte Cristo)
• go to Baler and learn how to surf
• go to one other beach
• go to Divisoria
• organize, finally, pictures in my laptop
• have some pictures printed and displayed
• arrange my iTunes and upload all the songs in my phone
• buy leather casing and Iphone accessories, ink for my printer, and wifi router
• organize my messy rooms (and I probably need a metal shelving or cabinet for some of my stuff)
• treat myself to a foot spa
• grow my hair long (and have it curled when long enough)
• as much as i can, enjoy this summer!

Good luck to me. :-D

Fire in the Hole!

It's still months away from vacation but I really am excited to do some adventures. The story below is one adventure I had during my vacation last year. I just hope I'd have more time to do more adventures again this vacation.

The story below was posted in my other blog around April 15 of last year.

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Last Easter Sunday, I was very lucky. I woke up at 10 am from the sound of a text message, which read: Gusto mong magswimming at mag-firing? I replied and asked if I could bring the kids with me as they were staying with me for the holidays. My friend said yes, and the best part, everything’s free! =)

The kids and I lost no time preparing, and about lunch time, we were already at Fort Magsaysay. It was my first time there (it’s ridiculous since it’s just 30 minutes away from our house), and I was surprised how tranquil and beautiful the place is. Even the cabin decor looks orderly. It felt like I was in Camp John Hay. I’ve always loved the water, but I was most excited about what will come next: firing!