time of your life

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life.

I wonder if I could write better when I am happy. When I do not sulk in misery and speak of cryptic words when the message of despair is screaming out of the page. Just look at these first two lines. People find them "hard" to read, but they are "easy" for me to write. Nobody really wants to be near negativity. And really, that is how it is ought to be. But everybody wants to rant. Deadlock.

There's a song from my favorite band, Green Day, that I would like to be played on my funeral. What one may think as morbidity is actually a testament on how I want to live my life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life.

When I look back in my life, like watching during my old age in a comfortable couch and a berkline home theater seating, I would like to see all the things as they are, triumphs, regrets, everything. It's not a test but a lesson learned in time. I would like to remember that in every strong emotion, I lived. I lived the time of my life.

Go on. Read the lyrics. Sing the song. It's a positive one.

Another turning point;

a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;

directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test

and don't ask why.

It's not a question

but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs

and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf

In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories

and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,

it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

Listen to it here. Good riddance.

Moving On

There is probably no better time in the year to reflect on your life than the end of every year, mostly of its symbolical value than its place in the calendar.

In my entire life, 2010 has been one of the most colorful years, if not the most. Frankly, I frequently wished for this year to end already. There are no pinewood trophies for this year, but unforgettable events were a plenty. This year saw me almost reached the brink of insanity, though how close I was to it I could never explain nor tell. Suffice it to say that I have been carrying crosses with me for long years already, and too early at that according to some people, and learning that my mother has cancer pushed me to despair, thinking I would never really have a comfortable life, not in this year nor in the many years ahead. The remaining hope I have was finally crushed, and there was nothing left but misery.

Eventually, I was able to surpass that desperate stage. I practically forced my tour to California and Las Vegas, lest I lose myself. It was an attempt to escape, even for a while. Truthfully, I was able to gather myself, accepting things as they are. There is really a virtue in restraint, in looking at things from a reasonable distance.

But of the whole year, there is one day I would never forget--the day I learned my mother was stricken with cancer. Up to this day, it remains as fresh as if it happened yesterday:

Fast-forward to holy week, and I was just glad I could finally rest. The whole year was so taxing, and at times, I felt like I've lost all my will and energy. This was the week I've been waiting for: the first week without school, without work.

But the holy week hadn't ended yet when I learned of the bad news. With a gloomy face, Dad asked me to come to my room, and then closed the door. I knew it was going to be a serious talk. He sat on my bed, and I sat on the sofa; we were about 5 meters away from each other. I do not like serious, sad talks. I would run away from it if I could, especially when it comes to family.

I asked Dad what it was about. “Your Mom has cancer. We just didn't tell you before because you were having your finals.” I was silent. As my father was telling me the news, his voice was breaking, the kind of voice you hear when one doesn't want to cry but he just cannot help it. Then he cried. It was the first time I saw him cry, and it was heart-breaking, like a dagger in my heart. I never wanted to see him and my mom hurt, and there he was crying in front of me. I wanted to tell him everything's gonna be alright, but I remained frozen in my seat. My own heart was exploding inside, but my face remained expressionless. I wanted to hug him, but I just couldn't move. (parts from killing me softly)

It has been a struggle since that day, a struggle in all aspects. Come January, my mother will have her last chemotherapy then radiation therapy. Afterward, she would continue taking oral chemo for 5 years. That she would complete her chemo, especially when she was diagnosed with severe depression, was a victory in itself. For that, I have the Lord and so many people to thank for. If there's one thing I am very thankful for, it is that our lives are still moving on.

There are much I would still continue wishing for this coming 2011. Specifically, I wish for health, for I and my family know its true value. I wish for wealth or at least a comfortable life. I wish for love, in all aspects of our lives. And most importantly, I wish for peace of mind. Nothing I would not give for peace of mind.

But these things depend largely on fate, or on so many other people, though I could seriously try to accomplish them all. For now, I could only wish for them and step-by-step move forward to them. For the thing "accomplishable", I would strive to pass all my law subjects. For my lifelong dream, I would still continue to dream of flying.


Note. I really wanted to do this post, but jeanny's contest realized it.

My Christmas Day

We had the simplest Christmas this year ever. No, I am not complaining. In fact, I liked it that way. I liked the quietness this Christmas had. Although people would have been welcome if they knocked on our house yesterday, I appreciated the private time I had with the closest of the family. The parties leading to Christmas were far more fabulous, filled with food, beers, and games, and as always they had been fun and, well, intoxicating.

Every year, the people who come to our house have been decreasing. Probably, it started when my grandfather passed away many years ago. He had been well-loved by all his relatives, being the quiet, kind man that he was. Probably, it was because my aunt, who is miss congeniality, who lives next to our house is abroad. Probably, it was because my mother, who has always been the one in charge of entertaining visitors, is weak at this time. And probably there are other reasons. Nevertheless, it doesn't bother me. The few people who visited us here in the house were the closest and most well-meaning people. And they were the people I really want to see on Christmas day.

My mother cooked her specialty, her infamous spaghetti. The immediate members of the family shared that during breakfast, without much interruption. There were no kids running around whom we never actually know. My father's coffee and my mother's spaghetti---I had the best breakfast in the whole year. If there's a xerox toner who could replicate yesterday, I would have replicated it over and over again.

After breakfast, we had a video call with my aunt and cousin abroad. Living in Qatar, they also have a quiet Christmas there, and they were missing the family over here so much. For now, the video call would suffice. Being a Filipino and a Catholic, my aunt also prepared food for her family there, along with some Filipino friends, to celebrate Christmas day.

The highlight of the day was when Keng, the little girl in the post below, appeared in the terrace while we were all resting dressed up like a princess, with matching headdress. We are all crazy about her, to say the least, especially because we only get to be with her during this holiday season. When she and her family left at about 2 pm, we had our lunch.

For our lunch, we had the most delicious kare-kare in the whole world, cooked by my mother. Afterward, we just spent the day in the house in the most relaxed manner. As for me, I am just grateful I have my family with me on Christmas day.

the different faces of keng

If there's anything that makes Christmas special, it's Keng. Anyone with a baby in the house, a child or a niece or a godchild, would understand this light feeling, like floating in the air. Every movement is a wonderful surprise. Everything she sees is a discovery. =)

Most of the time, she likes playing doctor. She has her stethoscope and would listen to our heartbeat one by one. She actually knows how to say "inhale" and "exhale", with matching holding her breath. At other times, she just wants to try different things. Indoor or outdoor lighting, she's just fabulous in the camera.

hello, mommy?

busy with work? eric's just watching over "baby"

baby, it's the guitar girl

female Potter

the time of her life

happy =)

White Party

Last Monday, our first-year block held our Christmas party. Now, we belong to different sections, so bonding moments like this one were cherished moments. We were all excited to be together again, and luckily, all of us were game in all the parlor games and photo-ops. That we all enjoyed the party was unmistakable in our faces, both from our pictorials (feeling models kami!) and candid photos from the best hidden camera photographers among us!

I wonder why people who like taking and posing for pictures flock together. haha. Before all the people arrived, we the early birds decided to pose for the camera. We searched all the studio-like places in the gazebo and posed there. We also did gay-lesbian-lovers pictures, though the pictures wouldn't really pass for real. haha.

waiting for others

when we were still sober

feeling lesbians haha

which two are gays?

party time!

photos after ping, pong, pang game

beer drinking contest

group pictures

And while most were drunk, the cameras continue on clicking, catching our insanity through their spy camera and freezing the memories i.n time. We would have died laughing if the Twister game had not ended (ehem.. nanalo ako!).

We all had our heyday that night. We started with smiles, continued on with giggles, and ended with laughters. I planned on going home earlier that night, but none of us actually went home until 4 a.m. Celebrations like this are addicting, especially when you're people you missed almost the whole year. Until next year! =)

going italian

After our sumptuous lunch in John and Yoko, we indulged ourselves to sweets at Caffe Ti-Amo, also in Greenbelt 5, famous for its Italian coffee and gelato. It was my first time to taste and learn how to consume Affogato, ignorant as I am when it comes to food other than Filipino and English. I ordered Affogato with Tiramisu gelato. It was two thumbs up! It wasn't too costly (unlike a term life insurance), so one can treat herself to this heaven once in a while. =)

Step 1. Choose your gelato. When you looked having difficulty choosing, the staff would ask you if you want a free taste, as she asked me. haha. I chose Tiramisu.

Step 2. Pour the nuts.

\

Step 3. Pour the coffee.

Step 4. Devour. =)

turning japanese

Last Monday, our office had our Christmas lunch at John and Yoko, Greenbelt 5. Thank goodness my officemates suggested that resto. I had been craving for Japanese since my failed attempt to dine at Yakimix, also in Greenbelt, due to the horrendous long line of reservations. John and Yoko had been described as a Japanese-inspired Filipino food. The food was great, but I can't say the same as to the price. Well, I guess it's not your everyday restaurant (it's like cancer from Mesothelioma, only it's in your pocket!).

California Maki Salad

Tuna Sashimi

Shrimp and Enoki Pizza

(forgot the name! haha)

Tempura

Beef Teppan (my order!)

Tribeca Salmon

Japaelia

For prices, click here.