Monday, June 20, 2011


The first week of school (last week) and the 2 months of summer seemed, to me, to be ocean miles apart. It seemed long ago when all I had to do after work was to watch TV until midnight (unless I had freelance works due). I've finished the last two seasons of Heroes and latest two seasons of House. As always, I am updated in Naruto and Bleach. My routine is now back to normal, that is, start the day early and end it late. And I am not complaining. I've learned to love this life; I like learning.

The hardest week of school (aside from exams week, of course) is the first week. As in most things in life, transitioning from one thing to another, or from one kind of life to the next, is the hardest part. It is the twilight zone.

At first you can't let go of the past just yet. Then you have difficulty adjusting. It always seems like you are not ready. (I'm just talking about school here, though I might sound like talking about life.) The vacation time should be enough for me. I cannot recharge forever, even rechargeable aa batteries need to be pulled off.

You cannot always be prepared. (Now, I'm talking about life here.) But what can we do? Perhaps take a deep breath and face everything head on. What else? Before we know it, it's over.

Saturday, June 4, 2011


How much does it take to give up one's dream? Well, I'm not too idealistic to think that no one would exchange their dream for something more, say, luxurious. I see people everyday going on about their lives trying to make it big in the corporate world, forgetting that they once dreamed of being an artist or a musician. Practicality has a way of forcing things into you, especially when you don't have the luxury of choosing.

I have a friend who loved his job in advertising. In advertising flags of perfume, fruit juices, or an MTV program, brainstorming, pumping out creative juices, and making brilliant storyboards were something he looked forward to every day, not to mention the artsy office and the weird hours of work. But it didn't sustain the needs of his children. So he packed his bag and worked somewhere else, boring but well paying.

Now, I have another friend. He had worked as an executive/manager for a long time, especially because he's brilliant in whatever he does. He wouldn't run out of companies offering him top positions. But one day, he just walked out of the office and never wanted to look back again. Now he's starting an IT firm of his own, just a small one in a small office, with very few employees. He wasn't earning much, or earning at all, from this office, and he recently turned down an employment as an executive in another company. Financially, now, he's struggling, but otherwise, he's happy.

This is not to say that one of them is right and one of them is wrong. It's a matter of what makes you happy, or better yet, what makes you not miserable the rest of your life.

I have always aspired to be a lawyer, but circumstances made me forget it. Six years after graduating, I was still working in a publishing company, well paid but unfulfilled. From time to time, it comes back to me---that I want to be a lawyer. But what could I do? I have responsibilities that no one would or could carry but me.

Two years ago, I finally did it. I finally told the family what I really wanted, and my grandmother pledged to help me if she can. I transferred to a less-pay but less-time work. Law school is very time consuming. Earnings dwindled significantly, and sometimes some would think that we wouldn't have to suffer like this if only I were focused on work. It gets to me sometimes, but I am bent on finishing what I have started.

I would be on my third-year now, very thankful that I made it this far and did better than I expected from myself. Perhaps I am really meant for this one, I thought to myself sometimes. Now, I am facing a dilemma. I would have to let go of office work completely, but I am afraid that freelance jobs would not suffice for a family with two sick parents. Then again, I guess I have to do this now or postpone my dream. Well, this dream of mine has been long overdue. I hope it's not too selfish to quit my job. We'd just have to make do on what I'd earn without it.

I realize that dreams are not meant to be achieved alone. People need understanding and support, and sometimes sacrifices, especially from family. We could not do it alone.