my simplest birthday

By the way, I celebrated my birthday 2 weeks ago. It's probably the quietest, not so" self-centered" birthday I've ever had. All I wanted for a gift was a book from Gaiman, horse riding helmets, and a samurai (or boomerang!) from Australia.

I just had lunch with my mom, dad, and bestfriend eks. Afterward, I watched Immortals with eks (the movie was disappointing), while my parents hurried home to dress up for a relative's wedding at Fernwoods, QC. I promised to follow at the reception, as I want to have a "me" time on my birthday.

After the movie, I went home and spent a few minutes to dress up, then I was off to Fernwoods. That started the worst 2 hours of all the birthdays I've had. Finding a taxi was horrible! In my long tube dress, and while wearing a makeup (thankfully I brought flat shoes), I stood side-by-side with the commuters at the LRT, ran after taxis, walked street to street, took a jeepney, and scoured for a taxi at the middle of Aurora Boulevard.

I arrived at Fernwoods when dinner already began (thank goodness!). And I could only pretend that the sumptuous foods and fully dressed visitors are for my (and for my dad's) birthday. Then again, I don't need those to have a happy birthday. =)

young love, first love

Nothing feels better than being in love---especially the first time. =)

I could only wish I'd feel the same way again. haha. Obviously, this isn't going to be my story.

Since I started living in my current apartment, I have become closer and closer with the children in the neighborhood. I am the neighborhood ate. Honestly, it's just been a year, but they seemed to be much more mature than they were when we first met. From kids, they became teenagers all of a sudden.

Martin is now in sixth grade. Two weeks ago, he's been telling me about a girl that he likes. He told me they're exchanging notes in the classroom through crumpled papers thrown at each other. Reminds me of Ana Roces and Jeffrey Santos. haha. And the first love letters I've written.

Last week, he told me that the girl sent her a text, "oo na". He was all smiles and sparkling eyes while he was talking to me. How cute. =)

Then, just this morning, Day-Day, who used to be Martin's crush, approached me and asked me, "Sinong mas maganda sa amin ni Anneth?" Oh, ok. I didn't know there's going to be a love triangle. As far as I know, she didn't like Martin before. And as far as I know, two weeks ago, they're all just children. They should be playing PC games instead of writing love letters! When Martin approached us, Day-Day left. Ooooh. Tension. Then, Martin told me that he suspects that Day-Day is jealous.

Well, I guess the kilig moments are always accompanied by selos moments. I just wish their first love wouldn't be as painful as that of the others. =)

wanderer

When have we stopped being nomads and started building villages? Surely, I have studied that in elementary, and perhaps at that point, I thought it was progress.

Now, I kinda like the idea of being a nomad...of moving from one place to another. I know there wouldn't be law education there, but I sure will learn a lot. And I don't have to go alone; my family would move with me. We'd only stop for our motorhome repair or to join a fancy festival. At least now, we're "civilized" and have agreed to some natural or common law, so perhaps there wouldn't be that much animosity toward strangers over territory.

What if I belonged to a family of gypsies? We'd be constantly traveling, and exploring, and wandering. We wouldn't have much, but we would never want more. We wouldn't have many friends, but we'd be so, so much closer with each other.

And if I want to be a wanderer, I'd have to do it sooner. I think, as one ages, one clamors for stability and certainty. And that, friends, is coming after me.

everything for love

It was my cousin's wedding yesterday. It was such a beautiful, beautiful wedding, held at Le Jardin Rosella, Tagaytay. Everything was just so organized, and they got only the best videographers, caterers, and florists. And oh, the place, and the atmosphere, was perfect for a such a romantic event.

And we almost missed the event. Months before, my mom was already informed of the wedding. Although she wont admit it, she was really excited. It has been a long time since she has been with relatives from her mother's side. And the clincher, she likes attending formal gatherings. She just enjoys that coat-and-tie-and-evening-gowns-only event, whereas I would evade it if I can. We fitted our old gowns and bought a gift last week, but mom's mind was preparing for it since she knew of the wedding haha.

Yesterday, we left the house at 2 p.m. After 15 minutes of travel, the car was already overheating. It was near a gas station with a service bay area, so we had it checked there. After about an hour, while my mother was throwing tantrums every 5 minutes or so, the mechanic declared that the car cannot be fixed within the day as parts need to be purchased first. At this point, mom was irritated with every person she sees (still the effect of cancer? haha), including dad and me. She wanted to take a taxi to Tagaytay, dad already talked to a taxi in the area, but I opposed the idea. I don't want to pay too much just to get there!! (kuripot ako!). At least I persuaded them to bring the car home first. On the way back, we found a Rapide branch. Mom's eye lighted up a little, but we got the same answer. So she was blaming dad for not knowing that the car would overheat (really!). I was already in a bad mood because she asked me to absent from school for this, and it seemed it was for nothing. Dad was already irritated for mom's incessant blaming.

I was already convinced that we should not go there when we got home. As for the gift we bought, well, we'd just send it to my cousin after a year as an anniversary gift for her. haha. It's too much of a hassle, and after all, we are already 2 hours late from our schedule. But I saw that mom really wanted to go, and I realized she needed to go to these events and have fun, after suffering severe depression for months. Dad perhaps also thought of the same, and before I knew it, dad already found a taxi. In the end, we went there riding a taxi. Fortunately, the taxi driver was a very kind Negrense in his 20s who was as excited as mom was to go to Tagaytay, being his first time.

We arrived at the reception just in time for the main course. Perfect! In the end, though I wont admit it outright, I had a wonderful time as much as my mom did, if not more. =)

P.S.

The only setback was that everybody was asking me when I would be married. haha.

telling a story

I am staring at this monitor for hours already. I have to write something. I thought of halloween, of the end of sembreak, of the coming Christmas, of chiropractor jobs, of the three books I recently read, or of the sickening uneasiness I am feeling.

The truth is I am thinking of so many things right now. I actually have so many things to write about. I have watched movies in the past days much more than I did during the last semester. Damn. I miss "reviewing" movies. Real Steel is a good one.

I wish I could tell a good story right now. There is a good story around me somewhere, I suppose. I just can't find it. Of course, I could speak of depressions and heartaches, but nobody really wants to read that, unless it's told by Nicholas Spark. I like sad endings. That's why I love Cruel Intentions so much. It has a fitting ending, one that strikes the emotions, and one probably more real than fiction---the sad ending, that is.

I fear for the consequences of the past. And I wish I could take a sneak peak in the future. Though recently, I have been thinking it is how it should be. No clues of tomorrow. I mean, do you really want to know?

Will is such a strong concept. I think I have a strong one of that. But so is destiny. And in that, I am clueless.

And oh, there's a book edited by Neil Gaiman I saw at Fully Booked. I wish I could have that right now. I'll bury myself in that book the whole day today, if I could. Maybe after that, I could already tell you a good story. Or tell you a story in a good way.

little miss entrepreneur

I think some people just have the innate business talent. Admittedly, I don't have it, although I am not afraid to try. Some people can just cook up the most creative ideas, the advertising magnets, and the overall concept. I have a friend who earns just by speaking; people pay to hear him speak. Ang galing. Another friend just starts a business, and let other people do the rest, earning income doing nothing. Some people sell their hand-made creations for their cyber Monday sale, or make a living buying and selling.

I've tried buying and selling, though I hadn't been successful. I was inspired by kuyang, who has tripled his capital in less than a year by trading cars. He has the necessary elements needed: he's a car expert, he has capital, and he knows how to bargain. I have crosses on all three. haha.

Anyway, recently, a friend has started a Japanese food cart business, and she has been very successful. She offers delicious Japanese meals adjusted to Filipino taste buds at a very affordable price, ranging from P35 to P65. I've already tried the meals, and I approve of them, especially that it comes with a lot of rice. Nakakabusog talaga! Right now, she has franchised about 30 already. And I'm thinking I could franchise another one. I hope this pushes through. =)

back in the game

Finally, I'm back to sweating!

It's not really a regular thing yet, but I try to do it once a week for weeks now. What is? Tennis! I've practically been planning to go back to tennis for years already. The only thing that's keeping me is that playing tennis is normally too pricey, considering the court rental, the trainer, the ball boy, and the equipment (and I don't have someone to play with!)

Lucky for me, there's a tennis court near my place, and they barely charge you for renting the court! I also got someone to train me again, since it's been a decade since I last played. hehe. And since he's only a varsity student from a state university nearby, he only charges only half as much as the other professional trainers do. And he's pretty nice too. He calls me "ate" all the time. haha. Plus, I only have to walk to the court. =)

For now, since I am a non-member at the court, I can only play at 6 am. That's fine with me, since this recent semester, I have to start studying early anyway, plus it's not too hot. They're yet to see if I "deserve" to be a member. Maybe if that happens, I could already play with the players in the court (meaning less expense on trainer!). For now, I am enjoying all the body pains I get every after game. I am not as fast or energetic as I used to be, but I enjoy the feeling that I am running again. =)

You can video download from youtube my games. Kiddin! Even my dad gets bored when he watches, although I already feel like a pro! =)

No Hurry

I am 6 years late from entering law school, that is, if you consider that most people continue law school right after college. Thus, I am older than most of my classmates. However, blending with them has not been a problem. Oftentimes, they thought I am their age; sometimes even, they think or see me as childish.

There is one classmate who, while I was laughing loudly along with other classmates during break time, told me to act my age. No offense was taken, and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt me, but just to tease me. At times though, I even tease myself that I am so old already, like I already need to pay my single premium immediate annuity as my life is nearing its end.

I would have said, "the time you reach my age, you'd really look old already if you are like that," but then, I'd seem offended, and perhaps a bit immature. So I just made a reply that is not so nice, yet not so feisty.

Or I would have said, "if you were in my life, I bet you could not handle it," but then I'd sound so depressed. And anyway, I think he's still a child.

I guess I should have said, "don’t be in a rush to act matured, and don't let that childish amusement go---you'll need it along the way."

Self-centered

When you walk, people see you as your green shirt, your faded jeans, and your white rubber shoes. Most of all, they see you as the face you wear. And that phony laugh. Why shouldn't they, when that's what you are projecting? Ergo, you cannot also complain that you are alone in this world and that nobody cares about you.

Then again, even if you wear "I'D LIKE TO EXPLODE AND DISAPPEAR" in graphic tees with matching grim face, nobody would even care. Or if they do, it would only last for a minute. People have a short tolerance for other people's misery. And a very long line for selfishness. And perhaps that's not entirely wrong. These same people tend to be happier.

Anger is a Gift

Admittedly, it is hard living one's life with an excess baggage. It would be way easier if we could just throw all the crappy things in the best composters, turning something so unuseful, at times destructive, to something useful. Optimism is the key.

But no, it can never be that easy. We people carry our baggage as long as we can. And we wait until it's too hard to carry or until our backs ache that we stop walking. Fact of life. But how the hell can we unload it when every step of the way, someone's loading it at our backs? You cannot stay positive forever, can you?

the holy one

Since Eduard was 3 years old, he and I are very attached to each other. In our household, they refer to me as Eduard's mother. In practically all his receiving of medals or any activity in school, he always asks me to be there, to be his "parent". His parents actually do not mind. I'm more of the stage mother type than they are. Well, I've even several posts here and in my other blog of how proud I am of him. More than the medals, he has grown to be such a good boy.

When I was a kid, I've imagined myself one of the kids in the church's choir. Aside from the fact that I do not have a singing voice, no one really asked me if I wanted to join or volunteered to join me (maybe it was because of the voice!). As I used to be a silent kid, I just kept that dream to myself. I wondered how it is to wear that uniform white robe and to sing during masses.

Fast-forward to the future, I've envisioned Eduard of joining the choir or being an altar boy. Admittedly, I never had the time nor the effort to bring him to the parish. The idea just lingered there.

Thus, I was surprised, and very happy, when his parents told me that Eduard joined the group of servers at their parish. He enjoys his time there, and he never misses any practices. I don't exactly know the extent of his "jobs" in the church (or if it includes checking invitationbox.com baptism invitations or other admin duties), but I'm pretty sure Eduard's enjoying them all. Eduard's family, even I, is not really the church going type, so it was unexpected that Eduard would have the inclination to participate in church activities. In fact, he's exerting too much effort for this, forgoing sleep time and weekends just to be at the Church. He serves at masses twice or thrice a week, oftentimes at 5 am. No one in the family would have as much perseverance as he has.

Members of the family call him "Father Eduard", sometimes as a joke, sometimes as a compliment. I told him that it's okay whether he wanted to pursue priesthood or not (some are not that fond of the idea). And if by chance he really wants to pursue the holy order, I definitely would support him all the way. If not, I'd still support him whatever he wants.

But for now, I am just happy he's religious, prayerful, and a good boy (so different from me!). I just wish him a peaceful life, that's all.

The following are pictures taken during his investiture as a server:

praying for us all

with other junior servers (he's at the last row, second from the right)

with his real mother and brother

Eduard's at the right side of the priest, and he's happy about it.

Google, Paris Hilton, Boy Abunda, and other stuff

By tomorrow, Mordsith will be about halfway her midterms. (Let it be known, by the way, that she is really "uncontactable" -- hehehe -- at this point. Really.) I am sure she's so dead-tired during this part of the day (well, night).*

Na-miss ko naman bigla ang kaibigan kong ito... :-(

You see, usually after her classes, we talk about different stuff -- from Baron Geisler's superb acting skills (hehehe), latest scientific breakthrough, why the Chinese are wrong about their contention that time traveling is not possible, to why Apalit, Pampanga is the next big thing in the history of the Philippines (sorry, Mordsith, just prove me wrong once you have the time to go online again). Now, because of her exams and her preparations for this, I am left with no one but my dear friend, Blogger, to talk to. Hehehe. Drama.

Mordsith, in case you'll pass by your blog anytime today, I have some news for you:

• Google acquired Motorola
• Paris Hilton is in town. And I heard she lost her phones her in Manila...?
• Koko is now a senator.
• Boy is being eyed to be the next DOT secretary.

Goodluck!!! :-)

*Hayyyy... If only our bodies are like hp batteries that can be plugged in to a wall socket for immediate recharge...

The caretaker is back

Note: This is yet again another guest post.

Next week will be Mordsith's midterm exams. (That was fast! Yesterday, it was just her first day in class, right?) She's been busy since last week studying. But because she finds it irresponsible to leave this blog unattended, I am once again taking over this domain. And for the next few posts (I have this feeling it won't be that many anyway), I will be sharing with you some stuff about me and the upcoming event that I'll be attending next week. Any idea what the event is? Remember this post? We'll it's happening next week. My french is still rusty, but I guess I can say "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" with ease. I just wish I won't get kicked in the a55 by the organizers/guards once I attempt to do just that. So, there.

Anyway, for now, I think I should just wish Mordsith goodluck to all her exams. I know she can do this.

And Mordsith, just keep up the goodwork, and I'll buy you that Adirondack chair I saw online (see above). You can sit on it, relax as if you're watching a movie, and review for you class (oh, good luck to you if you can even read while sitting on the chair!). I'm sure you'll love it.

This is the caretaker, Eks, signing in for Mordsith. Have a great weekend everyone!

the plight of the farmers

I was talking to a parlorista yesterday who works for the parlor walking distance from my place. I grew fond of him because he's a kababayan and he's about the same age as my college cousin Ian. Also, he's very hardworking. He stays in the parlor from morning until it closes, and he's seldom absent, whereas all the other parloristas are. He's always the one to attend first to customers, though most customers always ask for him. The others slouch around in the sofa watching TV or chatting with each other, not minding the customers coming in.

Anyway, he told me their ricefield in Nueva Ecija was flooded due to the rains the past weeks. While most of us are wishing for a colder weather, I guess this seemingly outdoor firepit weather would be better for them. No more continuous heavy rains please. In Metro Manila, we worry about floods, and we should. There, they worry about their livelihood.

This parlorista's very sad, telling me he's spent so much money already for the punla. He said when he went home last week to their hometown, he visited the ricefields first, before going to their house. The tone of sadness was apparent in his voice, and the misery was apparent in his eyes.

I really felt sad for him. I know how hard he's been working. I've always empathized with the farmers, knowing personally some farmers myself. Theirs was a difficult life. They only earn seasonally, with a whole year of hard work. Their problem is not only money, even the weather too. It's force majeure. I have always yearned to help them, even for just a little. Maybe in time, I can.

on being a good consumer

Thanks to eks for doing the post below. Though I'm not sure he's right that I wouldn't do a post as cheesy as the one he did below. I'm not that cold-hearted, you know. haha.

And also thanks to eks, I was able to replace my old laptop. He helped me to look for the best laptop computers at the source of all computer brands. Where else, but in Gilmore. hehe. We checked every shop there, and I'm satisfied with the one I got. After 2 days of canvassing, I'm proud to say, I taught him how to be a good consumer.

I am never an impulsive buyer. I never buy things that I just like. If buying something is not planned, I have to really like it to buy it. Hindi pwede ang pwede na. Or it must have been a really good deal. At times though, it seems I'm depriving myself. But I just couldn't take buying, knowing I could find something better elsewhere, or cheaper. I guess the keyword is options. You always have to look for options.

Of course, there's always a limit to being choosy. It's called practicality. It's about weighing the circumstances. In everything, there must always be a balance. =)

...and i will do anything for love*

What will you do when you love someone so much yet you know it's almost impossible for the two of you to be together? You see, I am so inlove with this person but I really don't know how I should say it. I mean, first, she's so beautiful and talented, and I -- on the other hand -- well, I am on the other side of the spectrum. (I guess the song is correct: Maybe sometimes love just ain't enough.)

But I guess I need to try. I believe I have mustered enough strength inside to let her know that I can be with her when she needs my support. That I can leave the life that I have when that moment comes. And I want all of you to know that I will try my best to get her attention… and hopefully more than that.

On August 19, after I take some French lessons, an effective exercise regimen, and probably a diet pill that works, I will see her. Mark that date, guys.

O, please check this pic so you know who I'm talking about.

*And you actually thought Mordsith will make a post like this? Hehehe. This is Eks, guest-posting for Mordsith. :-)

ice breaker

So right now, I still haven't adjusted to my law school-work at home life. I still haven't figured out the best time to work (after or before school) and study. I still get desperate over lack of time and get seriously affected over a bad recitation. But I am still hoping that I could eventually figure an effective time management, though I know it won't be as easy as getting cable management or refraining from watching anime. But eventually.

-----

Anyway, over the entire week, there's one thing that made me laugh. There is an irregular student who's my classmate in 2 subjects. In these two subjects, we sat beside each other. She always talks to me, and my general impression is she's very nice. She's already 30-ish and told me she already has 2 kids. She's working for the school paper and part-time in Congress, so I realized an opportunity to offer her a freelance job. I thought she might need it. She said she'll try.

Thereafter, she was called for a recitation. The professor recognized her and said, "Your husband is a congressman, right?" Wow. I am offering a freelance job to a congressman's wife. hehe. And by the way, that congressman is pretty famous; he's always on TV. I just couldn't help but laugh at myself. =)

When she sat down, I asked her number. I told her I'll just text her when the materials have been sent to her e-mail. Paninindigan ko na to! haha.

all is well

I called up eks and asked, "submit ko na ba?" I was referring to my resignation letter. He said, "submit mo na." And I hit the sent button.

It took me months of mentally preparing myself of sending the e-mail. It took me a lot of rereading to make sure the letter would be received well. I don't wanna burn bridges, ika nga. And it took me one go signal from an ever-trusted friend to finally send it.

As I was hoping, I did not hear a single negative comment from my bosses in the States, considering I submitted an effective-immediately resignation. They wished me well, offered me a recommendation letter if I need it, and expressed sadness that I was leaving. I also feel sad too, but grateful that I've actually worked with compassionate bosses and a bunch of unbelievably nice people.

I know eks would always be there to help me. I trust him with my life. Pardon for being mushy here, but I am just thankful that in times of uncertainties, there are people who give you a sense of security. (Hey eks, you are that to me! wehehehe nambola pa ko... joke!) I also have friends assuring help (or alleviating my fears); I can always count on them. These past months, it seemed I always send an SOS. hehe. Thank you, thank you.

I was scared of instability. Making myself laugh, I even thought of mowing neighbor's lawns with ariens mowers, just like that of kids in the States. haha. It was a silly thought! But I guess when a door closes, another one opens. For me, doors opened for several freelance works. Unexpectedly, one by one, they materialized, just a week when I was about to resign and wasn't really looking yet. It must have been a sign to go ahead.

Of course, I still have to work, but at least I have more flexible time schedule to attend to law school. Perhaps I can even earn the same net as I have been earning. All in all, I think all is well.

transitions

The first week of school (last week) and the 2 months of summer seemed, to me, to be ocean miles apart. It seemed long ago when all I had to do after work was to watch TV until midnight (unless I had freelance works due). I've finished the last two seasons of Heroes and latest two seasons of House. As always, I am updated in Naruto and Bleach. My routine is now back to normal, that is, start the day early and end it late. And I am not complaining. I've learned to love this life; I like learning.

The hardest week of school (aside from exams week, of course) is the first week. As in most things in life, transitioning from one thing to another, or from one kind of life to the next, is the hardest part. It is the twilight zone.

At first you can't let go of the past just yet. Then you have difficulty adjusting. It always seems like you are not ready. (I'm just talking about school here, though I might sound like talking about life.) The vacation time should be enough for me. I cannot recharge forever, even rechargeable aa batteries need to be pulled off.

You cannot always be prepared. (Now, I'm talking about life here.) But what can we do? Perhaps take a deep breath and face everything head on. What else? Before we know it, it's over.

together

How much does it take to give up one's dream? Well, I'm not too idealistic to think that no one would exchange their dream for something more, say, luxurious. I see people everyday going on about their lives trying to make it big in the corporate world, forgetting that they once dreamed of being an artist or a musician. Practicality has a way of forcing things into you, especially when you don't have the luxury of choosing.

I have a friend who loved his job in advertising. In advertising flags of perfume, fruit juices, or an MTV program, brainstorming, pumping out creative juices, and making brilliant storyboards were something he looked forward to every day, not to mention the artsy office and the weird hours of work. But it didn't sustain the needs of his children. So he packed his bag and worked somewhere else, boring but well paying.

Now, I have another friend. He had worked as an executive/manager for a long time, especially because he's brilliant in whatever he does. He wouldn't run out of companies offering him top positions. But one day, he just walked out of the office and never wanted to look back again. Now he's starting an IT firm of his own, just a small one in a small office, with very few employees. He wasn't earning much, or earning at all, from this office, and he recently turned down an employment as an executive in another company. Financially, now, he's struggling, but otherwise, he's happy.

This is not to say that one of them is right and one of them is wrong. It's a matter of what makes you happy, or better yet, what makes you not miserable the rest of your life.

I have always aspired to be a lawyer, but circumstances made me forget it. Six years after graduating, I was still working in a publishing company, well paid but unfulfilled. From time to time, it comes back to me---that I want to be a lawyer. But what could I do? I have responsibilities that no one would or could carry but me.

Two years ago, I finally did it. I finally told the family what I really wanted, and my grandmother pledged to help me if she can. I transferred to a less-pay but less-time work. Law school is very time consuming. Earnings dwindled significantly, and sometimes some would think that we wouldn't have to suffer like this if only I were focused on work. It gets to me sometimes, but I am bent on finishing what I have started.

I would be on my third-year now, very thankful that I made it this far and did better than I expected from myself. Perhaps I am really meant for this one, I thought to myself sometimes. Now, I am facing a dilemma. I would have to let go of office work completely, but I am afraid that freelance jobs would not suffice for a family with two sick parents. Then again, I guess I have to do this now or postpone my dream. Well, this dream of mine has been long overdue. I hope it's not too selfish to quit my job. We'd just have to make do on what I'd earn without it.

I realize that dreams are not meant to be achieved alone. People need understanding and support, and sometimes sacrifices, especially from family. We could not do it alone.

I met a (suicide) bomber

At around 315 am, my friend and I were already at the Victory Liner bus terminal in Cubao to get on the 4 am trip to Baguio. And about that time, the bus was already fully booked. We have to wait for the 5 am bus. For us, that was really frustrating. And so did the man in line behind us felt.

He was wearing a white polo shirt and carrying a suitcase and another hand-carry bag. Although he didn't look like a rich businessman with great management jobs, you wouldn't get friendly with him either. He's the serious type. He asked us (more like confirmed) if the 4 am trip was full, and we said yes. He said the Genesis bus line still has the 4 am bus. We asked him if he was sure. He said he was. So we agreed to go there. It's on the north-bound lane in EDSA, whereas the Victory Liner bus is on the south-bound lane. Inarguably, we could walk to there.

But the man talked to the taxi parked outside Victory and told the driver to bring us to Genesis. My friend and I didn't know how to react. First, we didn't want to spend money on taxi fare. Second, he's a stranger. But our better judgment failed us, and we got on the taxi. (Although frankly, I didn't have second thoughts. I felt he was harmless. lol.) He asked if we were from Baguio, and we said no. Then I asked him if he was from there; he said he's going to Pangasinan, and if he fell asleep on the bus, he'd go to Baguio. Then he said, he just got home from... but he stopped talking just before he could say a place.

We got to Genesis just a few minutes after. The man took a thick fold of money just cramped together from his pocket (I saw 500 bills!) and paid the cab. Once we reached the cashier, we learned that the 4 am trip was also full. We again agreed to go back to Victory. I told the man that maybe we should walk, but he again called a cab. He told the driver to bring us to Victory, but to drop by a fruit stand first. Now this time, we said it's okay, we'd go straight to Victory. Of course, the fruit stand was another matter. haha.

He said, okay. He gave us a thousand bill to buy two tickets for him, because he wanted the whole seat to himself then told the taxi driver to bring him to Farmers (the fruit stand). Before the cab could leave, I asked for his number, just in case we'd have to go somewhere else and could not wait. He said, "ok lang yan. makikita ko kayo," then left.

At this point, my friend and I couldn't help but smile in amazement about this man. Why would he give us a thousand bill just like that? In fairness, he made our otherwise surly morning to something interesting. We made speculations on what this could man be. My friend came up with an idea that maybe he's a (suicide) bomber. (Of course, you know a few paragraphs before, that my declaration in the title was not true... right?)

He went back to the terminal. We gave him his tickets, then we went to 711 to kill time. When we finally sat on our seats on the bus, we noticed that there were two people across us. Well, that should be just one man, the stranger we just met.

Why wasn't he on the bus, after buying two tickets and after exerting efforts to get on the 4 am trip?

My friend checked the spaces below the seats. There were no black bags left hidden. =)

his best birthday EVER

My "little boy" Eduard had his 11th birthday last May 6. Since it was a Friday, I got to celebrate his birthday with him on a Saturday night. (Actually, we bought him shoes Saturday afternoon.) And according to him, he truly had a great time, that is, compared with his other birthdays---his best birthday ever! So where did I bring him and his kuya ian? I brought him to a resto bar (owned by my friend's family).

We started the night with a dinner. We ordered the specialty rice, buttered chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, and something that tasted like pindang na usa. The food was great!

Eduard really ate a lot!

Then, I urged them drink with me in the bar! They were a bit shy at first...

But eventually learned how to hold a bottle!

Hey! I'm not that cool, you know? All we did in the bar was photo-ops. Dami namin pictures sa bar na yan! hehe. Maybe next time, I'd really teach them how to drink or to trailer hitch or to play pusoy dos, but not at age 11!

Just the three of us bonding

The fun part was when we played billiards. The three of us are novices, so we were all excited to hold a tako. And we were all eager to shoot a ball. But a single 8-ball game took an hour! And we downgraded our goal to this: just hit the ball with that white one!

At about 1 am, we finished playing billiards. We got exhausted after hours of playing and containing our excitement. It felt like we were pros the way we were too keen on shooting a ball. haha. Whenever we shoot a ball (is this even the term used for it?), it was hysteria!

Afterward, we conquered the videoke until 3 am, with yours truly leading the challenge. haha. We wouldn't go home if I hadn't received a text from an angry mother (my mother) telling me to bring the kids home. =)

Happy birthday, Eduard! I love you soooooooooo much!

tacsiyapo!!!

On mother's day, our family went to Isdaan in Tarlac. It's such a wonderful place. I wasn't expecting I'd really enjoy the place. I thought it was just like Dampa, where fresh seafoods and delicious meals are cooked. I was completely wrong. Isdaan was so much more (i'll make a post soon).

It was known for tacsiyapo. They have a wall there where you could throw plates, cups, and even a television just so you could release your anger or stress. Be it your inefficient cable or xbox live subscription, the loss of you favorite NBA team, lousy boss, poor grades, or just your pure hellish life. haha. You have to shout "tacsiyapo" before smashing stuff against the wall.

You could buy the plates, mugs, etc., from them. Heck, you could even buy a TV to throw at the wall (if you're frustration is that big!).

Mugs cost P15. Plates P16. TV P2000.

Here are the pictures of the kids before throwing against the wall. When people throwing are supposed to be angsty, the kids were so happy!

a toast!

Here are our photos targeting all those things we're mad at.

College kid Ian targeting "Profs/Classmates"

Eduard targeting, well, the wall. haha.

I targeted "highblood atbp" (they should have changed it to cancer/kidney failure haha. On my next try, I also targeted "Profs/Classmates". =)

My cousin's girlfriend, manager of a computer sales company, targeted "abusadong customer" and threw the plate with feelings! Among the bubbles there, I think the most targeted, judging by the faded paint, was "mother-in-law" haha. You? What would you hit there?

choices, and lack thereof

Life is full of choices. Whether Coke or Sprite, liposuction or conjugated linoleic acid, nursing or engineering, stay or leave, single or married, fight or flight. Whether an optimist or a pessimist. Whether an idealist or a realist. You choose whether you'd be a hero or a villain.

But it's easier said than done, as most lines like these are. I know I'd choose Coke any time, but that's about the most decisive I can be. I think my life hasn't been much of a conscious choice, not to mention that this life has made me indecisive. Most of the time, I feel like I have no choice---everything's a matter of survival---and I think many people feel the same way as I do.

I know I've made choices I'm not happy with, but I think that they're the right choices. I guess that there's one choice I can't afford to be wrong with, and that is responsibility, although it sometimes is at the expense of choosing to be happy or choosing to be free. Then again, you couldn't also be happy if you know you failed in this one. Aha! Is there really a choice?

I may sound a little (or a lot) bitter, but at this point I am not. I have already accepted what fate has brought me, although I'm not sure how much longer this state would be. Perhaps fate isn't that antithetical of choices after all. And perhaps one day, I could freely make choices the way it's supposed to be. That probably again is one thing that we should always choose to have: hope.


(P.S. This a comment to eks' multiple choice.)

a quiet week

How did you spend your holy week?

I went home to the province (and I'm still here). Against my mother's complaint, I brought with me so many stuff and urban clothes, thinking I'd "seize" every day of this long vacation. I've been missing drinking alcohol and going home at 4 am. I also missed my old friends here.

Apparently, I only went out of the house twice. One was on Good Friday to "watch" the procession, at the request of 11-year-old Eduard. The other was on Sabado de Gloria, making our way to hundreds of people who decided to go to the same water park as the one we went to (it was really a hassle, but we enjoyed the day nonetheless). This was also at the request of the children.

I guess my plan to party didn't work out well. Apparently, I didn't miss drinking and partying that much. Is this part of growing old? Or perhaps this was really the normal me. I've spent almost every day here in a routine manner. Reading a book, watching DVD, watching TV, and reading a book---with meals in between, and almost all the time, with kids around.

I remember holy week last year was full of activities. Yes, it was a vacation week, but it was quite tiring. This one was more serene. And frankly, I enjoyed it more. =)

So, how was yours?

teenage dirtbag

Ian, the first kid since the first set of grandchildren (kuyang, me, and tootie - only a year apart from each other), turned 17 yesterday. When he was a baby, we were all into him, especially me. He's just so cute, and his smile was so endearing. He took over our world, my world, for a time. When I come home from school (I was in high school then), I'd go straight to his room, look at him, and play with him for a while. During some nights, I sleep over with him and his parents. At times, I really think angels are playing with him, especially when he giggles alone. Eventually, his parents moved out, but they entrusted his care to Lola. So he has become, what you may call, a Lola's boy.

After years of staying in Manila, and going home only for long weekends and holidays, I never really saw him grow up. True, I witnessed the important events in his life, but I never saw his day-to-day life that turned him into what he is now.

He's grown to be the typical teenaged kid, you know, with the usual complaints about them. If he's not on the net, he constantly has all those Apple accessories plugged into his ears, making it very hard to talk with him. And of course, he hates staying at home and prefers spending time with barkadas. I never really guessed he'd be the same way that he is now. But don't we all pass through this phase? Some just pass through it faster than the others, while others almost never pass this stage (take a guess which category I belong to). Still, I know in my heart that he and his siblings and my niece Keng all grow up to be fine adults someday. I am praying for that, every time I pray.

To some extent, I envy Ian. I never had the same liberty he's been experiencing now. My parents, Lola even, were stricter back when we were teenagers. I am home by 6 pm and rarely go out with friends on weekends. And I never, never, experienced sleepovers and out-of-towns. At the same time, I am happy for him---that he has been living the life a teenager should live it. I hope he gets wisdom from the life that he is choosing now. After all, I know he's angel is always still with him.

Happy birthday, Ian. Never forget, ever, that we love you always. You will always be my original favorite. ;)

Note: Teenage Dirtbag is a Wheatus song that I really love.

bloopers

I've heard so many people complain about their Internet or phone connections, especially when they most need it, to look for the 1st anniversary gift for him, to book a flight, or to meet a deadline (do you still remember the PLDT customer service controversy?).

For a whole week, I did not use my net, so I was quite annoyed when there was no connection, especially when I needed it to meet a deadline for work. Immediately I called up the hotline.

After all the interviews, all the agent could offer was for me to switch the ends of the yellow cable connecting the modem and the laptop. I said, "are you serious?" as I was expecting a more elaborate solution, like configuration or something. It still did not work after that, so he said a technician would have to personally check my connection. I was irked by the delay, but what can I do? I just emphasized the need to have it fixed within 24 hours.

And within 24 hours, the technician came. I welcomed him in a not-so-good mood (still annoyed by the connection problems). In a second, he fixed the problem. Apparently, the cable connecting the phone and the modem was not plugged to the phone! Oh my gosh, after all the bad mood, it was just a stupid mistake on my part! haha! The agent should have asked me to check all the cables that need to be checked. haha. It was really a simple solution after all.

In my shame, when he told me that the cable was pulled out, I just said, "the net was down since last night!" haha. What does that have to do with anything? When he opened the modem, I was half hoping it won't work. But it did. :p

bisita

I just love it when my grandmother exerts extra effort whenever I am home. Last night, she stayed late and watched all the soap operas with me. I insisted that she already go to her room and rest at about 9 pm, but she in turn insisted she wasn't sleepy yet. From time to time, I can see her closing her eyes. haha. In fact, she fell asleep once or twice. But she said, she regularly does that every commercial. Marunong pang magpalusot si lola! I pretended sleepy so she would sleep already.

When I woke up this morning, she heated water for my coffee and offered all the breakfast she had around. I just took the coffee. She stared at my face and saw the pimples that appeared during finals week and asked me if I wanted her to bring me to the dermatologist for skin care (during college, she was the one who always insisted, and the one who actually brought me, to the same derma). Considering how simple she is, it's surprising how she really gets bothered with a few pimples in my face (as well as that of my male cousins!).

And on our way home from my cousin Eduard's recognition, she bought me halo-halo and my favorite isaw. Isn't she the sweet one? =)

Gabrielle

In the second floor of my apartment, there lives a 4-year-old girl whom I absolutely adore. She reminds me of my niece keng, who is about her age. And perhaps even more, she reminds me of myself.

When I was little, it was my dad who stays at home and takes care of me. He prepares my breakfast, takes me to school, and brings me home from school. He practically spends the whole day with me. That is the same way with Gabbie now.

At times, Gabbie would stay with me after she comes home from school. She would even eat lunch with me, leaving her father alone upstairs. I wonder why she wants to spend time here, although I have no preschool playground equipment here. I guess she just loves talking with others (her parents don't allow to play her in the streets, unlike the other kids in the neighborhood). She is particularly sweet (one time she asked her mom to buy pasalubong for me!). And she is absolutely brilliant. Hence,

And I am again, another proud Ate. Congrats, Gabbie! =)

what makes my day

For some reason, little kids and I have mutual attraction. Inevitably, we found each other again here. :)

The past 2 weeks, the children grew fond of staying in my apartment, just watching TV, talking to me, or just hanging around. Their favorite activity though is playing with Casper (finally being with him every day is one thing that's keeping me happy these days). At first, they just stay in the terrace. Eventually, they invaded my home. haha.

Because I was really busy finishing law school requirements, the presence of noisy kids was a bit distracting. I don't have mimio toys here or PS3 to keep them occupied (and stop talking to me haha). So, I asked them to write an article, which, they surprisingly agreed to.

Here's what John-John, the chubby boy fit for a hotdog commercial, wrote:

Casper

Casper is a good dog he eats dog food he lives in a big big big big house in nueva ecija [this is not true hehe] he has 1 daughter. Casper daughter's name Nicci casper wifes' name is Katie casper lives in [our address].

Tito xxx Tita xxx and Ate [mordsith] are the owners of Casper. Casper color is white he is small his eyes is big his nose is small his eyes is big his nose is small his face big his mouth sharp casper's body is big he eat's dog food

he is fat Casper has sharp teeth he lives in a house Casper wife's color is white Casper daughter's color is white Casper is friendly Casper's wife is masungit Casper daughter is magulo like me joke.

:D

Time Machine

I was talking to a friend, talking about the past, when he exclaimed, "When my child grows up, I will tell him to think carefully of every decision he makes…and that there is no time machine."

It resounded in my brain over and over again. Of course, I already know that we can never change what was or what had been. There is just something so sad about how he said it, or the context when he said it, that his sentiments reached me. The optimist, or the rational, will tell you that you should not dwell on the past. As in every lesson in life, it is easier said than done. And perhaps more than half of the world's population would go back to the past if given the chance. I for one had been trying to ignore the lingering feeling that I wish I could travel backward. But it is more difficult to suppress the feeling that I wish I could just leave the present and stay in the past forever.

And no, this is not just the sentiment of the pessimist or the irrational. It has always been the desire of people to go back and correct their mistakes, albeit in different degrees. It can be as light as claiming that Visa reward card or eating the last piece of cake or as heavy as marrying for love or pursuing your dreams. It would be utterly, if not really, impossible that people live without regrets. We are bound to make mistakes, just as sure as we are bound to feel pain. And whenever the mistakes seem impossible to remedy or the pain feels unbearable, we dream of the past, wishing we were there. Hadn't we seen Superman fly super fast around the globe to rewind time? I wonder if Superman could still do that now. I bet he would, if he still can.

We always hear of the golden past; it seemed this golden age never becomes the present. We are miserable because we always tend to forget that in a timeline, there is a past, a present, and a future. But who's blaming? It's easy to forget the future when it seems vague or predictably dark. It's easier to look back when all you see is smiles…when the blue sky shines just as brightly as the sun.

No. I am not saying that this is the right way to live, assuming there is a right one. I am just stating a fact as I see it in people's eyes, or in the eyes of those around me. What have we got to gain in looking back? Learn from mistakes? Maybe. Or just maybe, we learn nothing. We just for a moment try to feel the time when we aren't this miserable. The setback, we get more miserable after that. Who cares?

Oh, yes. It is difficult to dwell on the past. People say you wouldn't move on. But it is not true. People can still move on, even holding on to the precious moments of before, desperately grasping the time when mistakes had not been made. Would it be better if you forget about it and move on? Maybe. Who knows? Absolutely, there is no choice but to go on.

It is quite hard to speak for the world, although it is not as hard to observe it. As for me, if there is a time machine, I will take it. The question is, if I would still go back here. And no, this is not a lesson to learn. I am just presenting a reality as I see it. This is just a sentiment written.

What Sundays Have Become

I wonder how I came to this point that it has become so hard to rest. It has become an effort, a mind-bothering experience which I'd rather not go through. I used to look forward to weekends; oh, to just lie in front of the TV, unmoved by the noisiest sound of children, what a blessing in itself. Now, I look forward to weekends, to Sundays when there would be much time to work, to study, ultimately, to keep my mind running. I wish it were Sunday to catch up for the mistakes of the rather short weekdays. A little document scanning here, copy editing there, and reading in between--that would have been a blessing in itself. How sad Sundays have become.

the second mom

Next week, I am again asked to be a ninang for my childhood friend's son. I already have dozens of inaanaks, the first and second are already in college. Every time, I feel delighted to be chosen as a godmother. It feels like an acknowledgment of the bond I have formed with the parent/s and a recognition that I could really be a second parent to their child. Most of the parents are close friends, and material gifts that I could give to their children are immaterial. As of now, I am in no position yet to buy fabulous strollers or baby car seats (or the best diet pills for the moms who have just given birth hehe). The only thing I could promise is I'd try my best to be the coolest godmother I could be. =)

photo from the web

fast-paced karma

Notwithstanding the annoying incident (see post below) today, my day ended happy. =)

I have this weird belief that whenever I really want to get something right, I don't want to be happy for the day until I get that right. I believe in the concept of bawi in that, because I was so happy, I'd be sad next. And sad means I won't get what I want. haha. It's somewhat like fast-paced karma.

I couldn't contain my happiness when I got home. I devoured all the food and the fruits in the table (never mind my fat belly or that I need the best weight loss supplement) and was so talkative the whole time. It's just that I've been so down lately, one good moment thrills me!

So thanks to the couple below. You made my day. ;)

photo from the web

Get A Room

I arrived at school 2 hours before my class. I motivated myself to maximize that whole time to study. I am overly anxious over that subject, and I'm desperately, desperately, wanted to get a good recitation.

While other people prefer studying in the library or in groups, I prefer studying in quiet and isolated from people. I get distracted easily, so I always choose an isolated place, where very few people pass and/or stay.

In a quiet corridor I sat down on a bench, where only one quiet law student was also studying. Perfect spot.

After a few minutes, a girl sat on a bench crying loudly. It was what we call in Filipino as ngumangawa. In a minute, she was followed by a guy, apparently her boyfriend. The girl was almost hysterical, and I, about 15 meters away, can hear all she's saying. It was just quite annoying how she's been overreacting because she walked alone for like, I don't know, a block. At first, the guy was calming her. After a few minutes, he was also shouting then he left. The girl was now hysterical. The guy came back. Apparently he never really intended to leave her there; he just checked on something. Argh.

They could have been arguing for enzyte side effects or world domination for all I care. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear. I just hope that they just get a room.

for a cause

I just finished the Two for Taft unity run for the benefit of the bar bomb blast victims last year. I spotted there the poster girl of the survivors, Raissa Laurel, who lost her 2 legs in that cruel event but who nevertheless faced the world courageously and positively afterward. I am truly inspired on how she handled this whole ordeal; her optimism is, and rightfully, quite infectious.

Compared with the last 10k I did, this one was big event. Different law schools and organizations participated, all in the effort to raise 2 million for the operations and long-term treatment of about 40 victims. Truthfully, those of us who run would be given incentives in our school. But compared with my first run, I run for this one wholeheartedly. Perhaps because I know the actual victims and I also condemn such nonsense violence that took out somebody's ability to walk.

So together with friends, we took the 10k and run around the CCP area. Well, it was mostly walk throughout the route (haha), but it was an effective idea to finish the run. After I got home at around 830 am, I crawled through my old bed, wishing I had the most comfy memory foam mattress, but I nevertheless fell asleep immediately. Writing this now, I am still dead tired, with muscles all over aching. But the run for a cause was all worth it.

photo from the web

the deal maker

Sometimes I ruin my day by dwelling on how I no longer want to work. There are days though that my sensible self tells me to feel otherwise.

If there is one significant good thing that happened to my life last year, it's that I've found a great employer--a simple Amerikana who built an empire of medical and scientific writing of her own. Of all the jobs around, I got the one with the most understanding and sympathetic boss (actually, we should feel lucky that we have a job these days). The next best thing, if not the best, probably was that I finally left my old job, rather, my old boss.

As an illustration, on my last birthday, she sent me a Disney greeting card--with a handwritten small note. This little gesture means a lot, considering she's managing different offices in the States, one in UK, and this one here in Makati.

During the Christmas season, she sent each one of us in the Philippine office a huge dark chocolate. She could have easily sent all of them in the office. Instead, she sent these chocolates to our respective home addresses. What a sweet and charming woman.

In a few weeks, she'll be visiting our office here. We are all excited (and I am also nervous) to be with her, though all of us have already met her since she makes it a point to personally interview all our company's applicants in all branches. How she does that is just plain admirable.

So whenever I feel disoriented with work, I just tell myself, "you may never find again a good boss like this one."

vacation frenzy

There are so many people planning getaways, booking local flights here and there. Fortunately for people, local airlines have been offering apparently cheaper price for a flight to here and there, airfares which were previously so difficult to afford. Unfortunately for me, I cannot see any foreseeable time when I could actually make an out-of-town vacation, save for my hometown. Indeed, I am quite jealous of friends who have been constantly browsing Cebu Pacific or PAL or SeaAir for the best deals, while I am engaged in reading lipozene reviews and trying to comfort myself that, well, there may still be those good flight-hotel packages and appropriate time for a trip to somewhere relaxing/exciting. If and when I get that, I'd fly myself to Japan (or just about anywhere not here).

the story of the men in camouflage

There is no doubt I want to be a lawyer. I am going through all these no-rest years just to be one, not to mention the serious anxieties I now feel regularly whenever I'm in class.

Perhaps the reason is that a lawyer's career involves public service, if one chooses to do so. Or maybe it's because people look up to lawyers, at least I do so.

But when I was a child, I seriously wanted also to be a soldier---yes, a foot soldier battling in the field. I literally dreamed of armed confrontations in forest, and I always felt thrilled when I wake up. I got an application for PMA when I was a high school senior, but I lacked months for the age requirement. I didn't pursue it the year next.

Perhaps the reason was that a soldier's career involves public service, and it's absolutely so. Or maybe it's because people look up to soldiers, at least I did so.

And this is precisely the reason I am really saddened, no, outraged, by all the controversies the armed forces are getting into. Instead of lives saved, we're now talking of funds malversed. Instead of putting lives at stake to defend public, we're now hearing of taking own lives to evade public hearing.

While the generals' wives are traveling the world with their gold credit cards (one was stupid enough to bring cash), the foot soldiers were running in worned-out combat shoes and defective guns. You know how the story goes.

I remembered the time when I looked at men in camouflage in awe. I looked back when, as a child, I salute whenever I see them. I am still hoping this despicable story will change. It has not ended yet...I hope.

residue

Last Friday, my mother had her final chemotherapy. Mother, as well as dad and I, wanted to celebrate. It meant the end of those vicious chemos leaving mommy like a crumpled paper. It meant not seeing those dainty nurses uniforms every 3 weeks or so. It meant the end of the constant stress of finding a means to pay for them.

And so we did celebrate. We went to our pizza pasta restaurant and ordered our favorite pastas and the must-have buffalo wings. Mother even ordered bottomless soda for herself. It was really a celebration, free from all stress...at least for the meantime.

Yesterday, the side effects of the chemo were kicking in. Up to now, mother feels very weak and depressed, aggravated by vertigo. It was a sight disheartening to behold---one I never want to see ever again.

Still, I find solace that it would be the last of it. It is just a residue of a difficult chapter now closed.

10k: part 2

The 10-kilometer run I did some two weeks ago was, to me, a hilarious incident, a practical joke the school played on me. And I joyfully played along.

I never thought I would do that same thing twice. Yes, you heard me. I will try another 10k run, and yes, it is for the same reason as the one before.

The first one was inside a village in Alabang, and we "passed" the time admiring the big, beautiful houses, wondering what sort of home automation software is installed or how much could that fiber-glass gate cost. Honestly, we were surprised when we already finished that run (more like a looooong walk), thanks to the fanciful environment.

This next run would be through Manila streets. Obviously, it would be a different environment. Nevertheless, as in all "run", we will still find a way to get through the finish line. =)

when you believe

It was around June when my mother first had her chemotherapy session. Probably due to her scared mind and weak body, she suffered during that first one. We had to rush her to the hospital some days after that. She was so afraid then; so were we.

This week, my mother will have her 8th and last chemo. The chemos in between were also physically hard for her, the anxiety and fear never really left her, but she faced them with more resolve and courage.

My father was instrumental that she reached this point. He has always, always, been there for her. He would understand her tantrums and cries of desperation and paranoia when most of us would lose patience. He would memorize all her medicines and their dosages and administration. He seemed like an expert in cancer already. He is a natural in taking care of people and perfectly fit for those healthcare industry jobs, at least for my mom's needs. He disregarded, well, postponed, his own health concerns just to take care of her.

Now, my mother's a little more hopeful with her condition. I am very positive she'll live a long life after this ordeal. I guess things happen when you believe.

going for gold

I will attempt to run 10 kilometers. Why? Just to see if I could do it. Why? Because I'm desperate. haha.

Our school will be having a fun run for the benefit of a foundation. One of the professors invited us and promised additional points in the final grade: 1 for 1K, 3 for 5K, and 5 for 10k. And because I had a very poor, unprepared recitation in his class, not to mention he hates our section (our mistake!), I will go for 10K. No need for diet pills for women. I surely would shed pounds and beat eks in our bet!

The problem is I have never had physical exercise for years already. I am so lazy I would not walk 2 floors down, though I am terribly hungry. Neither have I the time to practice for this run---not even a day. So I guess I just have to run and go for gold, wishing my determination, and desperation, will suffice. =)

goodbye, bamboo

Back in high school, my conservative, snobbish, but crush ng bayan friend had an eye for only one guy---Bamboo. Now a doctor, she's still a fan (though she now has a boyfriend).

So many women drool over him, probably because of his suplado countenance. Some girls my age then actually wanted to try the best diet pills for women, if only to impress Bamboo when they see him up close. He was a fad.

He was still the frontman of Rivermaya then. Eventually, he formed a new band, named after the plant (or after his name), Bamboo. I was never really a fan of that band, but admittedly, they made some good music. And it's a bit sad that they're now saying goodbye. Yes, they are.

A quote from his farewell message: We've learned that this journey is not only about us but includes all who came along for the trip. Family, friends and of course front row believers who were there for the best reason of all. To simply listen.

changing seasons

Life cannot be all about fun. I've had my happy times the weeks past, especially during the holidays. School and work had been set aside, and it had been generally a happy, relaxed holidays.

Next week is already midterms weeks. I would have to bury myself with my books and hope to learn them well, not just for the exams but for my career as a lawyer (dear Lord, help me be one!). There all those rituals I have to have during that week (bacchus, coffee, band-aid,etc.). I need my prayer warriors help. I'm truly scared to enter the midterms week, especially in 2 subjects, but I must remember, after the rainy season, there's summer again.

wrapping up

until next year...

How quick Christmas comes. How quick Christmas goes.

Yesterday, Santa moved to a room in the house and prepared for his long slumber until another December, together with all those red and golden balls, little reindeer, and little stars. The karaoke that played lively, loud music during the holidays now rests mute in my room. The tupperwares are now empty of spaghetti, ham, and salad. Our Christmas home is now quiet, the children running around the house are now tucked in school, while I am now miles away. The little girl in the photo will leave on a plane 7 days from now. It will be another year before all these come together again. That little girl might be 2 inches taller then.

It's a bit sad, but I would just remember how quick Christmas comes. :)