Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No Hurry

I am 6 years late from entering law school, that is, if you consider that most people continue law school right after college. Thus, I am older than most of my classmates. However, blending with them has not been a problem. Oftentimes, they thought I am their age; sometimes even, they think or see me as childish.

There is one classmate who, while I was laughing loudly along with other classmates during break time, told me to act my age. No offense was taken, and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt me, but just to tease me. At times though, I even tease myself that I am so old already, like I already need to pay my single premium immediate annuity as my life is nearing its end.
I would have said, "the time you reach my age, you'd really look old already if you are like that," but then, I'd seem offended, and perhaps a bit immature. So I just made a reply that is not so nice, yet not so feisty.

Or I would have said, "if you were in my life, I bet you could not handle it," but then I'd sound so depressed. And anyway, I think he's still a child.

I guess I should have said, "don’t be in a rush to act matured, and don't let that childish amusement go---you'll need it along the way."


When you walk, people see you as your green shirt, your faded jeans, and your white rubber shoes. Most of all, they see you as the face you wear. And that phony laugh. Why shouldn't they, when that's what you are projecting? Ergo, you cannot also complain that you are alone in this world and that nobody cares about you.

Then again, even if you wear "I'D LIKE TO EXPLODE AND DISAPPEAR" in graphic tees with matching grim face, nobody would even care. Or if they do, it would only last for a minute. People have a short tolerance for other people's misery. And a very long line for selfishness. And perhaps that's not entirely wrong. These same people tend to be happier.

Anger is a Gift

Admittedly, it is hard living one's life with an excess baggage. It would be way easier if we could just throw all the crappy things in the best composters, turning something so unuseful, at times destructive, to something useful. Optimism is the key.

But no, it can never be that easy. We people carry our baggage as long as we can. And we wait until it's too hard to carry or until our backs ache that we stop walking. Fact of life. But how the hell can we unload it when every step of the way, someone's loading it at our backs? You cannot stay positive forever, can you?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

the holy one

Since Eduard was 3 years old, he and I are very attached to each other. In our household, they refer to me as Eduard's mother. In practically all his receiving of medals or any activity in school, he always asks me to be there, to be his "parent". His parents actually do not mind. I'm more of the stage mother type than they are. Well, I've even several posts here and in my other blog of how proud I am of him. More than the medals, he has grown to be such a good boy.

When I was a kid, I've imagined myself one of the kids in the church's choir. Aside from the fact that I do not have a singing voice, no one really asked me if I wanted to join or volunteered to join me (maybe it was because of the voice!). As I used to be a silent kid, I just kept that dream to myself. I wondered how it is to wear that uniform white robe and to sing during masses.

Fast-forward to the future, I've envisioned Eduard of joining the choir or being an altar boy. Admittedly, I never had the time nor the effort to bring him to the parish. The idea just lingered there.

Thus, I was surprised, and very happy, when his parents told me that Eduard joined the group of servers at their parish. He enjoys his time there, and he never misses any practices. I don't exactly know the extent of his "jobs" in the church (or if it includes checking invitationbox.com baptism invitations or other admin duties), but I'm pretty sure Eduard's enjoying them all. Eduard's family, even I, is not really the church going type, so it was unexpected that Eduard would have the inclination to participate in church activities. In fact, he's exerting too much effort for this, forgoing sleep time and weekends just to be at the Church. He serves at masses twice or thrice a week, oftentimes at 5 am. No one in the family would have as much perseverance as he has.

Members of the family call him "Father Eduard", sometimes as a joke, sometimes as a compliment. I told him that it's okay whether he wanted to pursue priesthood or not (some are not that fond of the idea). And if by chance he really wants to pursue the holy order, I definitely would support him all the way. If not, I'd still support him whatever he wants.

But for now, I am just happy he's religious, prayerful, and a good boy (so different from me!). I just wish him a peaceful life, that's all.

The following are pictures taken during his investiture as a server:

praying for us all

with other junior servers (he's at the last row, second from the right)

with his real mother and brother

Eduard's at the right side of the priest, and he's happy about it.