My mother recently celebrated her birthday. I have no gift for her, which is particularly sad because it's that kind of landmark birthdays, like when one turned 1, 7, 18, etc.
When I was a kid, I make her cards (which were most of the time very unartful) or buy her a blouse (which did not fit) or give her a bracelet (which well, she did not like). In the recent years, my gift almost always means birthday treat, which she appreciates I think. I just suck in giving her gifts.
This is not an emo post, if that's what you're thinking. I think I just had enough of giving her mediocre things. And she's a frank person, so I would always know if I failed. Oftentimes, I do, but one time, she really loved the poinsettia plants I got her when I was in high school. Don't get me wrong that I think she's unappreciative (she says her thanks naman). She just expects what she deserves, I guess. And well, in reality, people do that.
So, I have no gift. I'm thinking of compensating when I am really able, prepared, and creative enough to give her a well-thought out gift. She loves cooking so perhaps vintage kitchen cabinets? Or trip abroad? Or a condo? Or just cash, because she loves shopping.
Sometimes I feel bad that I couldn't provide them a more comfortable life since I decided to take law school. I felt kind of selfish. At times though, I think I should be understood. But that's almost over now.
Hopefully, in her next birthday, I could give her something she really wants to have. She deserves that. Especially that her every birthday now really counts, since that cancer entered our lives. And the truth is, I am very, very thankful for the birthday she just had -- it's God's gift to me.
Happy birthday, Mommy! I will do better.
