bisita

I just love it when my grandmother exerts extra effort whenever I am home. Last night, she stayed late and watched all the soap operas with me. I insisted that she already go to her room and rest at about 9 pm, but she in turn insisted she wasn't sleepy yet. From time to time, I can see her closing her eyes. haha. In fact, she fell asleep once or twice. But she said, she regularly does that every commercial. Marunong pang magpalusot si lola! I pretended sleepy so she would sleep already.

When I woke up this morning, she heated water for my coffee and offered all the breakfast she had around. I just took the coffee. She stared at my face and saw the pimples that appeared during finals week and asked me if I wanted her to bring me to the dermatologist for skin care (during college, she was the one who always insisted, and the one who actually brought me, to the same derma). Considering how simple she is, it's surprising how she really gets bothered with a few pimples in my face (as well as that of my male cousins!).

And on our way home from my cousin Eduard's recognition, she bought me halo-halo and my favorite isaw. Isn't she the sweet one? =)

Gabrielle

In the second floor of my apartment, there lives a 4-year-old girl whom I absolutely adore. She reminds me of my niece keng, who is about her age. And perhaps even more, she reminds me of myself.

When I was little, it was my dad who stays at home and takes care of me. He prepares my breakfast, takes me to school, and brings me home from school. He practically spends the whole day with me. That is the same way with Gabbie now.

At times, Gabbie would stay with me after she comes home from school. She would even eat lunch with me, leaving her father alone upstairs. I wonder why she wants to spend time here, although I have no preschool playground equipment here. I guess she just loves talking with others (her parents don't allow to play her in the streets, unlike the other kids in the neighborhood). She is particularly sweet (one time she asked her mom to buy pasalubong for me!). And she is absolutely brilliant. Hence,

And I am again, another proud Ate. Congrats, Gabbie! =)

what makes my day

For some reason, little kids and I have mutual attraction. Inevitably, we found each other again here. :)

The past 2 weeks, the children grew fond of staying in my apartment, just watching TV, talking to me, or just hanging around. Their favorite activity though is playing with Casper (finally being with him every day is one thing that's keeping me happy these days). At first, they just stay in the terrace. Eventually, they invaded my home. haha.

Because I was really busy finishing law school requirements, the presence of noisy kids was a bit distracting. I don't have mimio toys here or PS3 to keep them occupied (and stop talking to me haha). So, I asked them to write an article, which, they surprisingly agreed to.

Here's what John-John, the chubby boy fit for a hotdog commercial, wrote:

Casper

Casper is a good dog he eats dog food he lives in a big big big big house in nueva ecija [this is not true hehe] he has 1 daughter. Casper daughter's name Nicci casper wifes' name is Katie casper lives in [our address].

Tito xxx Tita xxx and Ate [mordsith] are the owners of Casper. Casper color is white he is small his eyes is big his nose is small his eyes is big his nose is small his face big his mouth sharp casper's body is big he eat's dog food

he is fat Casper has sharp teeth he lives in a house Casper wife's color is white Casper daughter's color is white Casper is friendly Casper's wife is masungit Casper daughter is magulo like me joke.

:D

Time Machine

I was talking to a friend, talking about the past, when he exclaimed, "When my child grows up, I will tell him to think carefully of every decision he makes…and that there is no time machine."

It resounded in my brain over and over again. Of course, I already know that we can never change what was or what had been. There is just something so sad about how he said it, or the context when he said it, that his sentiments reached me. The optimist, or the rational, will tell you that you should not dwell on the past. As in every lesson in life, it is easier said than done. And perhaps more than half of the world's population would go back to the past if given the chance. I for one had been trying to ignore the lingering feeling that I wish I could travel backward. But it is more difficult to suppress the feeling that I wish I could just leave the present and stay in the past forever.

And no, this is not just the sentiment of the pessimist or the irrational. It has always been the desire of people to go back and correct their mistakes, albeit in different degrees. It can be as light as claiming that Visa reward card or eating the last piece of cake or as heavy as marrying for love or pursuing your dreams. It would be utterly, if not really, impossible that people live without regrets. We are bound to make mistakes, just as sure as we are bound to feel pain. And whenever the mistakes seem impossible to remedy or the pain feels unbearable, we dream of the past, wishing we were there. Hadn't we seen Superman fly super fast around the globe to rewind time? I wonder if Superman could still do that now. I bet he would, if he still can.

We always hear of the golden past; it seemed this golden age never becomes the present. We are miserable because we always tend to forget that in a timeline, there is a past, a present, and a future. But who's blaming? It's easy to forget the future when it seems vague or predictably dark. It's easier to look back when all you see is smiles…when the blue sky shines just as brightly as the sun.

No. I am not saying that this is the right way to live, assuming there is a right one. I am just stating a fact as I see it in people's eyes, or in the eyes of those around me. What have we got to gain in looking back? Learn from mistakes? Maybe. Or just maybe, we learn nothing. We just for a moment try to feel the time when we aren't this miserable. The setback, we get more miserable after that. Who cares?

Oh, yes. It is difficult to dwell on the past. People say you wouldn't move on. But it is not true. People can still move on, even holding on to the precious moments of before, desperately grasping the time when mistakes had not been made. Would it be better if you forget about it and move on? Maybe. Who knows? Absolutely, there is no choice but to go on.

It is quite hard to speak for the world, although it is not as hard to observe it. As for me, if there is a time machine, I will take it. The question is, if I would still go back here. And no, this is not a lesson to learn. I am just presenting a reality as I see it. This is just a sentiment written.