Monday, July 16, 2012

selfishness

Warning: Whining.


As much as I don't want to emit negative vibes from this blog, there is certain comfort in pouring out thoughts in an unresponsive computer, with an apathetic feeling toward this pathetic attitude of mine. There is comfort in knowing that I am not unduly burdening anyone with my whining and my sulking, except trashing the internet with my trash.

I feel my energy sucked out of me. Maintaining optimism is tiresome, especially when I cannot figure how is it that I could not have it easy. Enough with the talk that "at least you'll be a stronger person". I do not want that anymore. I hate that. I just want to have some luck. Rest. For me and my family. Peace of mind. Comfort.

I am tired of forcing the perspective that my life is better than others. Could I just now take the normal view, that how is it that my life sucks than those of others? That there is much I do not have, and much that I have lost? Time. How can I bring back time?

Shouting in silence is confining. When I walk in the street or in corridors, I could not even put a fake smile. I could not even hide that "I am not okay!" This is what I get for fooling myself.

I am sorry. I am just tired. And disappointed. Time and again.

2 comments:

docgelo said...

here's sending tons of positive vibes! :)

we all go through various hassles and challenges daily, in different degrees and severity. but we have no choice but to react briefly then move on. as cliche has it, the world doesn't stops for anything, it doesn't wait for anyone. so we can opt to dwell in misery alone or move on. cheer up, attorney!

swing back to my blog, i might infect you with excitement! thanks!

Anonymous said...

There will always be a reason to smile. Think positive.