Friday, May 6, 2011

choices, and lack thereof

Life is full of choices. Whether Coke or Sprite, liposuction or conjugated linoleic acid, nursing or engineering, stay or leave, single or married, fight or flight. Whether an optimist or a pessimist. Whether an idealist or a realist. You choose whether you'd be a hero or a villain.

But it's easier said than done, as most lines like these are. I know I'd choose Coke any time, but that's about the most decisive I can be. I think my life hasn't been much of a conscious choice, not to mention that this life has made me indecisive. Most of the time, I feel like I have no choice---everything's a matter of survival---and I think many people feel the same way as I do.

I know I've made choices I'm not happy with, but I think that they're the right choices. I guess that there's one choice I can't afford to be wrong with, and that is responsibility, although it sometimes is at the expense of choosing to be happy or choosing to be free. Then again, you couldn't also be happy if you know you failed in this one. Aha! Is there really a choice?

I may sound a little (or a lot) bitter, but at this point I am not. I have already accepted what fate has brought me, although I'm not sure how much longer this state would be. Perhaps fate isn't that antithetical of choices after all. And perhaps one day, I could freely make choices the way it's supposed to be. That probably again is one thing that we should always choose to have: hope.

(P.S. This a comment to eks' multiple choice.)


Angeli said...

words can often feel so empty sometimes, but will it comfort you to know that a few years from now you will be in a much better place than where you are today?

kayni said...

hmmm...choices are what makes us responsible people. well said.