telling a story

I am staring at this monitor for hours already. I have to write something. I thought of halloween, of the end of sembreak, of the coming Christmas, of chiropractor jobs, of the three books I recently read, or of the sickening uneasiness I am feeling.

The truth is I am thinking of so many things right now. I actually have so many things to write about. I have watched movies in the past days much more than I did during the last semester. Damn. I miss "reviewing" movies. Real Steel is a good one.

I wish I could tell a good story right now. There is a good story around me somewhere, I suppose. I just can't find it. Of course, I could speak of depressions and heartaches, but nobody really wants to read that, unless it's told by Nicholas Spark. I like sad endings. That's why I love Cruel Intentions so much. It has a fitting ending, one that strikes the emotions, and one probably more real than fiction---the sad ending, that is.

I fear for the consequences of the past. And I wish I could take a sneak peak in the future. Though recently, I have been thinking it is how it should be. No clues of tomorrow. I mean, do you really want to know?

Will is such a strong concept. I think I have a strong one of that. But so is destiny. And in that, I am clueless.

And oh, there's a book edited by Neil Gaiman I saw at Fully Booked. I wish I could have that right now. I'll bury myself in that book the whole day today, if I could. Maybe after that, I could already tell you a good story. Or tell you a story in a good way.

little miss entrepreneur

I think some people just have the innate business talent. Admittedly, I don't have it, although I am not afraid to try. Some people can just cook up the most creative ideas, the advertising magnets, and the overall concept. I have a friend who earns just by speaking; people pay to hear him speak. Ang galing. Another friend just starts a business, and let other people do the rest, earning income doing nothing. Some people sell their hand-made creations for their cyber Monday sale, or make a living buying and selling.

I've tried buying and selling, though I hadn't been successful. I was inspired by kuyang, who has tripled his capital in less than a year by trading cars. He has the necessary elements needed: he's a car expert, he has capital, and he knows how to bargain. I have crosses on all three. haha.

Anyway, recently, a friend has started a Japanese food cart business, and she has been very successful. She offers delicious Japanese meals adjusted to Filipino taste buds at a very affordable price, ranging from P35 to P65. I've already tried the meals, and I approve of them, especially that it comes with a lot of rice. Nakakabusog talaga! Right now, she has franchised about 30 already. And I'm thinking I could franchise another one. I hope this pushes through. =)

back in the game

Finally, I'm back to sweating!

It's not really a regular thing yet, but I try to do it once a week for weeks now. What is? Tennis! I've practically been planning to go back to tennis for years already. The only thing that's keeping me is that playing tennis is normally too pricey, considering the court rental, the trainer, the ball boy, and the equipment (and I don't have someone to play with!)

Lucky for me, there's a tennis court near my place, and they barely charge you for renting the court! I also got someone to train me again, since it's been a decade since I last played. hehe. And since he's only a varsity student from a state university nearby, he only charges only half as much as the other professional trainers do. And he's pretty nice too. He calls me "ate" all the time. haha. Plus, I only have to walk to the court. =)

For now, since I am a non-member at the court, I can only play at 6 am. That's fine with me, since this recent semester, I have to start studying early anyway, plus it's not too hot. They're yet to see if I "deserve" to be a member. Maybe if that happens, I could already play with the players in the court (meaning less expense on trainer!). For now, I am enjoying all the body pains I get every after game. I am not as fast or energetic as I used to be, but I enjoy the feeling that I am running again. =)

You can video download from youtube my games. Kiddin! Even my dad gets bored when he watches, although I already feel like a pro! =)

No Hurry

I am 6 years late from entering law school, that is, if you consider that most people continue law school right after college. Thus, I am older than most of my classmates. However, blending with them has not been a problem. Oftentimes, they thought I am their age; sometimes even, they think or see me as childish.

There is one classmate who, while I was laughing loudly along with other classmates during break time, told me to act my age. No offense was taken, and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt me, but just to tease me. At times though, I even tease myself that I am so old already, like I already need to pay my single premium immediate annuity as my life is nearing its end.

I would have said, "the time you reach my age, you'd really look old already if you are like that," but then, I'd seem offended, and perhaps a bit immature. So I just made a reply that is not so nice, yet not so feisty.

Or I would have said, "if you were in my life, I bet you could not handle it," but then I'd sound so depressed. And anyway, I think he's still a child.

I guess I should have said, "don’t be in a rush to act matured, and don't let that childish amusement go---you'll need it along the way."

Self-centered

When you walk, people see you as your green shirt, your faded jeans, and your white rubber shoes. Most of all, they see you as the face you wear. And that phony laugh. Why shouldn't they, when that's what you are projecting? Ergo, you cannot also complain that you are alone in this world and that nobody cares about you.

Then again, even if you wear "I'D LIKE TO EXPLODE AND DISAPPEAR" in graphic tees with matching grim face, nobody would even care. Or if they do, it would only last for a minute. People have a short tolerance for other people's misery. And a very long line for selfishness. And perhaps that's not entirely wrong. These same people tend to be happier.

Anger is a Gift

Admittedly, it is hard living one's life with an excess baggage. It would be way easier if we could just throw all the crappy things in the best composters, turning something so unuseful, at times destructive, to something useful. Optimism is the key.

But no, it can never be that easy. We people carry our baggage as long as we can. And we wait until it's too hard to carry or until our backs ache that we stop walking. Fact of life. But how the hell can we unload it when every step of the way, someone's loading it at our backs? You cannot stay positive forever, can you?

the holy one

Since Eduard was 3 years old, he and I are very attached to each other. In our household, they refer to me as Eduard's mother. In practically all his receiving of medals or any activity in school, he always asks me to be there, to be his "parent". His parents actually do not mind. I'm more of the stage mother type than they are. Well, I've even several posts here and in my other blog of how proud I am of him. More than the medals, he has grown to be such a good boy.

When I was a kid, I've imagined myself one of the kids in the church's choir. Aside from the fact that I do not have a singing voice, no one really asked me if I wanted to join or volunteered to join me (maybe it was because of the voice!). As I used to be a silent kid, I just kept that dream to myself. I wondered how it is to wear that uniform white robe and to sing during masses.

Fast-forward to the future, I've envisioned Eduard of joining the choir or being an altar boy. Admittedly, I never had the time nor the effort to bring him to the parish. The idea just lingered there.

Thus, I was surprised, and very happy, when his parents told me that Eduard joined the group of servers at their parish. He enjoys his time there, and he never misses any practices. I don't exactly know the extent of his "jobs" in the church (or if it includes checking invitationbox.com baptism invitations or other admin duties), but I'm pretty sure Eduard's enjoying them all. Eduard's family, even I, is not really the church going type, so it was unexpected that Eduard would have the inclination to participate in church activities. In fact, he's exerting too much effort for this, forgoing sleep time and weekends just to be at the Church. He serves at masses twice or thrice a week, oftentimes at 5 am. No one in the family would have as much perseverance as he has.

Members of the family call him "Father Eduard", sometimes as a joke, sometimes as a compliment. I told him that it's okay whether he wanted to pursue priesthood or not (some are not that fond of the idea). And if by chance he really wants to pursue the holy order, I definitely would support him all the way. If not, I'd still support him whatever he wants.

But for now, I am just happy he's religious, prayerful, and a good boy (so different from me!). I just wish him a peaceful life, that's all.

The following are pictures taken during his investiture as a server:

praying for us all

with other junior servers (he's at the last row, second from the right)

with his real mother and brother

Eduard's at the right side of the priest, and he's happy about it.