What Sundays Have Become

I wonder how I came to this point that it has become so hard to rest. It has become an effort, a mind-bothering experience which I'd rather not go through. I used to look forward to weekends; oh, to just lie in front of the TV, unmoved by the noisiest sound of children, what a blessing in itself. Now, I look forward to weekends, to Sundays when there would be much time to work, to study, ultimately, to keep my mind running. I wish it were Sunday to catch up for the mistakes of the rather short weekdays. A little document scanning here, copy editing there, and reading in between--that would have been a blessing in itself. How sad Sundays have become.

the second mom

Next week, I am again asked to be a ninang for my childhood friend's son. I already have dozens of inaanaks, the first and second are already in college. Every time, I feel delighted to be chosen as a godmother. It feels like an acknowledgment of the bond I have formed with the parent/s and a recognition that I could really be a second parent to their child. Most of the parents are close friends, and material gifts that I could give to their children are immaterial. As of now, I am in no position yet to buy fabulous strollers or baby car seats (or the best diet pills for the moms who have just given birth hehe). The only thing I could promise is I'd try my best to be the coolest godmother I could be. =)

photo from the web

fast-paced karma

Notwithstanding the annoying incident (see post below) today, my day ended happy. =)

I have this weird belief that whenever I really want to get something right, I don't want to be happy for the day until I get that right. I believe in the concept of bawi in that, because I was so happy, I'd be sad next. And sad means I won't get what I want. haha. It's somewhat like fast-paced karma.

I couldn't contain my happiness when I got home. I devoured all the food and the fruits in the table (never mind my fat belly or that I need the best weight loss supplement) and was so talkative the whole time. It's just that I've been so down lately, one good moment thrills me!

So thanks to the couple below. You made my day. ;)

photo from the web

Get A Room

I arrived at school 2 hours before my class. I motivated myself to maximize that whole time to study. I am overly anxious over that subject, and I'm desperately, desperately, wanted to get a good recitation.

While other people prefer studying in the library or in groups, I prefer studying in quiet and isolated from people. I get distracted easily, so I always choose an isolated place, where very few people pass and/or stay.

In a quiet corridor I sat down on a bench, where only one quiet law student was also studying. Perfect spot.

After a few minutes, a girl sat on a bench crying loudly. It was what we call in Filipino as ngumangawa. In a minute, she was followed by a guy, apparently her boyfriend. The girl was almost hysterical, and I, about 15 meters away, can hear all she's saying. It was just quite annoying how she's been overreacting because she walked alone for like, I don't know, a block. At first, the guy was calming her. After a few minutes, he was also shouting then he left. The girl was now hysterical. The guy came back. Apparently he never really intended to leave her there; he just checked on something. Argh.

They could have been arguing for enzyte side effects or world domination for all I care. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear. I just hope that they just get a room.

for a cause

I just finished the Two for Taft unity run for the benefit of the bar bomb blast victims last year. I spotted there the poster girl of the survivors, Raissa Laurel, who lost her 2 legs in that cruel event but who nevertheless faced the world courageously and positively afterward. I am truly inspired on how she handled this whole ordeal; her optimism is, and rightfully, quite infectious.

Compared with the last 10k I did, this one was big event. Different law schools and organizations participated, all in the effort to raise 2 million for the operations and long-term treatment of about 40 victims. Truthfully, those of us who run would be given incentives in our school. But compared with my first run, I run for this one wholeheartedly. Perhaps because I know the actual victims and I also condemn such nonsense violence that took out somebody's ability to walk.

So together with friends, we took the 10k and run around the CCP area. Well, it was mostly walk throughout the route (haha), but it was an effective idea to finish the run. After I got home at around 830 am, I crawled through my old bed, wishing I had the most comfy memory foam mattress, but I nevertheless fell asleep immediately. Writing this now, I am still dead tired, with muscles all over aching. But the run for a cause was all worth it.

photo from the web

the deal maker

Sometimes I ruin my day by dwelling on how I no longer want to work. There are days though that my sensible self tells me to feel otherwise.

If there is one significant good thing that happened to my life last year, it's that I've found a great employer--a simple Amerikana who built an empire of medical and scientific writing of her own. Of all the jobs around, I got the one with the most understanding and sympathetic boss (actually, we should feel lucky that we have a job these days). The next best thing, if not the best, probably was that I finally left my old job, rather, my old boss.

As an illustration, on my last birthday, she sent me a Disney greeting card--with a handwritten small note. This little gesture means a lot, considering she's managing different offices in the States, one in UK, and this one here in Makati.

During the Christmas season, she sent each one of us in the Philippine office a huge dark chocolate. She could have easily sent all of them in the office. Instead, she sent these chocolates to our respective home addresses. What a sweet and charming woman.

In a few weeks, she'll be visiting our office here. We are all excited (and I am also nervous) to be with her, though all of us have already met her since she makes it a point to personally interview all our company's applicants in all branches. How she does that is just plain admirable.

So whenever I feel disoriented with work, I just tell myself, "you may never find again a good boss like this one."

vacation frenzy

There are so many people planning getaways, booking local flights here and there. Fortunately for people, local airlines have been offering apparently cheaper price for a flight to here and there, airfares which were previously so difficult to afford. Unfortunately for me, I cannot see any foreseeable time when I could actually make an out-of-town vacation, save for my hometown. Indeed, I am quite jealous of friends who have been constantly browsing Cebu Pacific or PAL or SeaAir for the best deals, while I am engaged in reading lipozene reviews and trying to comfort myself that, well, there may still be those good flight-hotel packages and appropriate time for a trip to somewhere relaxing/exciting. If and when I get that, I'd fly myself to Japan (or just about anywhere not here).

the story of the men in camouflage

There is no doubt I want to be a lawyer. I am going through all these no-rest years just to be one, not to mention the serious anxieties I now feel regularly whenever I'm in class.

Perhaps the reason is that a lawyer's career involves public service, if one chooses to do so. Or maybe it's because people look up to lawyers, at least I do so.

But when I was a child, I seriously wanted also to be a soldier---yes, a foot soldier battling in the field. I literally dreamed of armed confrontations in forest, and I always felt thrilled when I wake up. I got an application for PMA when I was a high school senior, but I lacked months for the age requirement. I didn't pursue it the year next.

Perhaps the reason was that a soldier's career involves public service, and it's absolutely so. Or maybe it's because people look up to soldiers, at least I did so.

And this is precisely the reason I am really saddened, no, outraged, by all the controversies the armed forces are getting into. Instead of lives saved, we're now talking of funds malversed. Instead of putting lives at stake to defend public, we're now hearing of taking own lives to evade public hearing.

While the generals' wives are traveling the world with their gold credit cards (one was stupid enough to bring cash), the foot soldiers were running in worned-out combat shoes and defective guns. You know how the story goes.

I remembered the time when I looked at men in camouflage in awe. I looked back when, as a child, I salute whenever I see them. I am still hoping this despicable story will change. It has not ended yet...I hope.

residue

Last Friday, my mother had her final chemotherapy. Mother, as well as dad and I, wanted to celebrate. It meant the end of those vicious chemos leaving mommy like a crumpled paper. It meant not seeing those dainty nurses uniforms every 3 weeks or so. It meant the end of the constant stress of finding a means to pay for them.

And so we did celebrate. We went to our pizza pasta restaurant and ordered our favorite pastas and the must-have buffalo wings. Mother even ordered bottomless soda for herself. It was really a celebration, free from all stress...at least for the meantime.

Yesterday, the side effects of the chemo were kicking in. Up to now, mother feels very weak and depressed, aggravated by vertigo. It was a sight disheartening to behold---one I never want to see ever again.

Still, I find solace that it would be the last of it. It is just a residue of a difficult chapter now closed.

10k: part 2

The 10-kilometer run I did some two weeks ago was, to me, a hilarious incident, a practical joke the school played on me. And I joyfully played along.

I never thought I would do that same thing twice. Yes, you heard me. I will try another 10k run, and yes, it is for the same reason as the one before.

The first one was inside a village in Alabang, and we "passed" the time admiring the big, beautiful houses, wondering what sort of home automation software is installed or how much could that fiber-glass gate cost. Honestly, we were surprised when we already finished that run (more like a looooong walk), thanks to the fanciful environment.

This next run would be through Manila streets. Obviously, it would be a different environment. Nevertheless, as in all "run", we will still find a way to get through the finish line. =)